Hey,
Oh my gosh, since I last wrote to you, things have been MENTAL. I've had assignments due at Uni due, long work hours (to this day, I absolutely RESENT being the company cleaner every evening! HATE IT), spending time with friends and welcoming a giddy and excited Sam to Australia.
Last night though brought me back to earth with a shock.
I was walking - as fast as I could in the thick sheets of rain through the city to my bus stop for the 22 home. I would have missed her if I wasnt glancing around in fear of 'attackers' (I know...I'm a nutcase) in dark alleyways.
Instead, I saw a shape...shivering on the ground, trying to fit their small, frail body under a thin, torn blanket. The blanket was only the size of half a towel and the person had covered their head and shoulders with it.
I stopped.
What to do?
I opened my purse. $15 in notes and about $10 in change.
I walked over to the shivering figure. The clothes were dirty and torn. It broke my heart to see another human this way.
I gently called out "hello in there?"
And the blanket was yanked away from their face. A bony, frail, frightened lady's face peered up anxiously at me. Her dirty eyebrows raised in fear and alarm.
The me that is wanted to explain and offer comfort. Sense took over and instead of talking, I held out my money to her. A shaking, wary hand took it. Seeing that I wasnt a threat, the blanket got raised again.
I guess I had been dismissed.
Feeling like I had done all I could, I said a prayer that she would now be able to 'buy a bed' for the night at a homeless shelter (I think even the homeless are expected to put a few dollars towards a warm bed for the night) and maybe a meal or two with what I'd given her and moved on.
But...my feet felt like lead.
Tiny Janet wanted to go back, gently shake her awake, pick her up and take her home with me. Tiny Janet desperately wanted to help - wanted to offer her a shower in my bathroom, warm pyjamas and our couch to 'crash on' for the night.
The me that is foresaw a great danger in this. I would be putting Alun and our guest, Sam in a very precarious place. I wanted to help but I had to put some boundaries in place to protect myself and those I love.
But I still couldn't bear to leave. Not yet. Something felt unfinished.
I looked back at the shivering shape in the alleyway and made a decision. The bible verse about giving your own shirt away to someone if they needed it rang as clear as a bell in my heart and mind.
I would give this lady my coat. My favourite coat. The coat I loved so much that I named her "Lydia" because she has fancy lining and a gorgeous cream material outer.
I unbuttoned Lydia, checked my pockets for anything I couldn't do without (lucky for me - because my bus pass was in there), and walked back to the figure.
I took my coat off and gently covered this lady's uncovered half with it. She didn't lift her blanket but I hope she felt the extra weight and warmth on her middle and legs.
I hated that I couldn't do more, but could now walk away thinking at least I did something.
I am so extremely grateful that I could come home, peel off my soaked business dress and shoes, shower in the warmth and wear warm, dry pj's to bed in my warm, dry home.
I have so much. I'm so very grateful. Thank you Lord God xx
Oh my gosh, since I last wrote to you, things have been MENTAL. I've had assignments due at Uni due, long work hours (to this day, I absolutely RESENT being the company cleaner every evening! HATE IT), spending time with friends and welcoming a giddy and excited Sam to Australia.
Last night though brought me back to earth with a shock.
I was walking - as fast as I could in the thick sheets of rain through the city to my bus stop for the 22 home. I would have missed her if I wasnt glancing around in fear of 'attackers' (I know...I'm a nutcase) in dark alleyways.
Instead, I saw a shape...shivering on the ground, trying to fit their small, frail body under a thin, torn blanket. The blanket was only the size of half a towel and the person had covered their head and shoulders with it.
I stopped.
What to do?
I opened my purse. $15 in notes and about $10 in change.
I walked over to the shivering figure. The clothes were dirty and torn. It broke my heart to see another human this way.
I gently called out "hello in there?"
And the blanket was yanked away from their face. A bony, frail, frightened lady's face peered up anxiously at me. Her dirty eyebrows raised in fear and alarm.
The me that is wanted to explain and offer comfort. Sense took over and instead of talking, I held out my money to her. A shaking, wary hand took it. Seeing that I wasnt a threat, the blanket got raised again.
I guess I had been dismissed.
Feeling like I had done all I could, I said a prayer that she would now be able to 'buy a bed' for the night at a homeless shelter (I think even the homeless are expected to put a few dollars towards a warm bed for the night) and maybe a meal or two with what I'd given her and moved on.
But...my feet felt like lead.
Tiny Janet wanted to go back, gently shake her awake, pick her up and take her home with me. Tiny Janet desperately wanted to help - wanted to offer her a shower in my bathroom, warm pyjamas and our couch to 'crash on' for the night.
The me that is foresaw a great danger in this. I would be putting Alun and our guest, Sam in a very precarious place. I wanted to help but I had to put some boundaries in place to protect myself and those I love.
But I still couldn't bear to leave. Not yet. Something felt unfinished.
I looked back at the shivering shape in the alleyway and made a decision. The bible verse about giving your own shirt away to someone if they needed it rang as clear as a bell in my heart and mind.
I would give this lady my coat. My favourite coat. The coat I loved so much that I named her "Lydia" because she has fancy lining and a gorgeous cream material outer.
I unbuttoned Lydia, checked my pockets for anything I couldn't do without (lucky for me - because my bus pass was in there), and walked back to the figure.
I took my coat off and gently covered this lady's uncovered half with it. She didn't lift her blanket but I hope she felt the extra weight and warmth on her middle and legs.
I hated that I couldn't do more, but could now walk away thinking at least I did something.
I am so extremely grateful that I could come home, peel off my soaked business dress and shoes, shower in the warmth and wear warm, dry pj's to bed in my warm, dry home.
I have so much. I'm so very grateful. Thank you Lord God xx
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