Skip to main content

Blessed

Do you ever have something so lovely and so wonderful happen that for days and days you think about it and just say "wow" to yourself?


I'm like that at the moment with this last visit with Alun's parents.


The entire week has been a blessing. We've not argued or fought and everyone's been on their best behaviour. It has been a peaceful week and I couldn't be more thankful.


Thank you, Father God.


It's been 7 days of everyone being kind, forgiving, appreciative and joyful. I have appreciated Mr and Mrs Thomases efforts and have responded by being more and more relaxed and more and more myself. It has been...wonderful. We've laughed together, joked, enjoyed each other's company and had a really great week.


On the 2nd day they were here, Alun and I had afternoon tea with the Thomases. We stayed on for drinks at the Pub that is right next to their hotel (Can I say how much I love that they're staying in a hotel this time???) and as evening came, Alun and I prepared to leave. Being cheeky, Alun said "Shall Janet and I walk you both home?". We all laughed. We stepped outside and Mr Thomas linked his arm through mine. "C'mon Janet, we'll walk ahead and let those two catch up". He winked and gestured behind us at Alun and his Mom. It was lovely.


It has felt weird and a part of me that is still cautious and aching from the last few visits finds this very difficult, but I've called Alun's parents "Mum and Dad" for the whole visit. Mr Thomas especially seems to like this and his eyes twinkle when he responds.


Yesterday we said goodbye.


Alun's parents, Alun and I walked to the hospital before Alun started his shift. We all sat awkwardly around a café table near the entrance to Al's Trauma Ward. The sadness was palpable - like a sheer blanket over us all. I felt sad for Alun's parents having to say goodbye to their son and sad for Alun because even though he pretends it doesn't matter, I know he's sad to see them go. Eventually, Alun stood up, checked his watch and said "Well...I'd best get going".


Mrs Thomas was swallowing hard and trying not to cry. Mr Thomas cleared his throat painfully. I stood back to let them hug. Alun is 39 years old - the same as me - but in that moment, seeing him in his parent's arms, I could imagine him at 3 or 4 years old. A little boy.


The Trauma doors opened and Alun walked away briskly. Mr and Mrs Thomas stood, staring forlornly at the doors for a long time. I didn't want to rush them and wanted to let them be sad for as long as they wanted...so I just waited quietly beside them.


I honestly wanted to go, too. After a long while, Mrs Thomas turned and patted my arm gently "you don't have to stay, I know you are not well (I am fighting tonsillitis just now) so you can go now if you want to, as well" she said.


I saw the sadness in her eyes and I decided to stay a little longer just to make sure they were both ok.


We caught a free 'inner city' Cat Bus to a Bar right by the river. The Thomases go every time they visit and always comment on how much they love it. I made small talk and we all sipped at our drinks. Mr and Mrs Thomas were obviously sad about saying goodbye to Alun. I asked them about 'home' and hoped that I was getting them to look forward to seeing friends again rather than think about going away from their son.


We finished our drinks and I couldn't bear the sadness any more. It was also harder to talk with the Thomases when their minds and hearts were elsewhere and in the obvious vacancy of Alun. I said I had to go home and rest and asked if they would be okay. They both said they would be fine.


Mr and Mrs Thomas came back into the city with me and walked me to the bus stop. I don't like goodbyes, so was praying silently that the bus wouldn't be long.


Thankfully, it was only a few minutes before the bus home pulled along the kerb.


Mrs Thomas hugged me, tears streaming down her face. "Goodbye lovely girl" she said into my ear. "Alun is in good hands and I will look after him" I said into hers. I pulled away and Mrs Thomas was crying hard. I felt so sad for her. This must be so hard on her.


Mr Thomas hugged me very tightly and for a long time. I was starting to worry I'd miss my bus.


It was suddenly imperative that I catch this bus as quickly as possible.


"You're a good girl, Janet" Mr Thomas said, tears in his eyes. He blinked quickly to clear them but it didn't work.


I didn't realise how dear his face had become to me.


"I have no sense of direction" I joked.


We both laughed. The Thomases have seen first hand how rubbish I am with sense of direction.


"But I know how to look after Alun" I added "So you can go home knowing he is loved and that I will do everything I can to make him happy"


Mr and Mrs Thomas cried and both hugged me.


A Thomas group hug.


I would never have imaged I would write that ^^. NOT EVER.


I was now the last person wanting to catch the bus.


I swallowed the lump in my throat.

Why was this so hard?


We all shuffled closer to the bus doors.


"Off you go!" Mr Thomas said - and waved at the Bus driver, who smiled and waved back.


I pressed my 'Smartrider' to the access pad and it beeped it's response. I chose a seat in the thankfully half-empty bus and sat close the window.


As the bus pulled past Mr and Mrs Thomas, they were both crying and smiling and waving madly.


I don't know why - it was daggy - but I blew kisses from my seat on the bus and waved, too.


4 years ago...3 years ago...2 years ago...I would NEVER have thought the above ^^ would have ever happened. Not ever.


I cried on the way home.


I praised God and said "thank you" quietly to Him over and over again.


And last night? I had the most restful, peaceful, lovely sleep I've had in a really, really long time.







Comments

Popular posts from this blog

and then, we move on...

Sometimes moving on can be so hard. I remember last year when I got "released" from hospital. The fear of leaving that safe trauma ward was awful. I hated thinking "oh God...now I'll be on my own and I still cant walk"...but you know what? we move on. We move on from petty fights with friends, from stupid family things, from broken hearts and crap days and we hope for better things. Im blessed because I'm experiencing those 'better things' right now, actually. Think about it, Im at work (so Im thankful for a job), I have the world's most amazing people as my friends (seriously, all my friends are worth their weight in gold) I have a safe home, lots of food and money... and I have an amazing boyfriend. Alun met up with me yesterday at the Royal on a sunny, warm Perth day. He had something in a huge shopping bag and held it out to me with an excited grin "OMG Janet - open it, you're gonna LOVE it!" and the smile on his face r

best $270.00 I've ever spent, honestly :)

Now that I've written that, I can remember other things I've loved spending HUGE amounts on: * the first time I got my hair chemically straightened :) * when I bought Jon a "year's pass" to the movies - he loved that gift more than anything else I've ever given him * any time I give Mom 'board money' because she's always so grateful and seeing her smile is a blessing anyway *sigh* back to the point... ...today I'm writing to you from a Travelodge Hotel Room. I know...not the most amazing Hotel - but you wouldnt believe how nice my room is. It's a "deluxe suite" and is big, comfortable, pretty and best of all *big smile* it's airconditioned!!! OH YEAH!!! In this horrid, dry and yet super humid Perth heat...being able to sleep to the hum of a working and LOVELY air conditioner is definitely worth the money I've paid. Here's what lead to this: My anxiety began with coming home to find the carpet pulled up, m

10...and then 5 :)

Yeah I can tell Im getting better because even though things are tough right now and Im sad and a bit fed up and weary...I still have hope :) I cant help it, it's who I am. I got an email from "Sandy" today. I really care about her and I look up to her and will probably read her email again when im less tired from a long day and it will make more sense...but for now, what I think she was trying to say to me was to take a bit more ownership of my life and to stop asking God to fix it all...or something like that...and I want you to know, Sandy - Im taking ownership of it and doing it ALL myself...but I believe in God and I believe that he hears me and so Im taking EVERYTHING to Him and just asking for some direction on this. I'll email you personally about about that another day. Thanks for always being there for me. I keep trying and failing and falling, then getting excited about something new and getting back up. Im on a very strange path just now and although