I work in an open plan office. It's a huge floor with huge windows and every window has a lovely view of the city around us.
So, I used this to my advantage today and tracked "Sally" and her EVERY move from when I received her email about a meeting (8:45am) to when we were scheduled to be in the meeting room (12noon). I worried the entire time I followed her bobbing, blonde head around. I stared at the clock on my computer screen so hard and for so long, the image blurred.
Every minute leading up to 'the meeting' was pure torture.
Am I getting fired?
Why haven't I saved more money for times like this?
How quickly can I get another job?
What have I done wrong?
*mentally scanning for anything I could have done wrong and not finding anything so wondering if I accidentally downloaded and watched hours of porn on my work computer*
Worrying, worrying, worrying.
Worrying some more. Tracking Sally's every move around the office. Wondering when she 'disappeared' for over an hour if she'd gone to get a shotgun or if she was sharpening her knives or cross bow in the kitchen to kill me with.
By the time 12noon arrived, I had sweated about 4 kilos off my body, was shaking, anxious, wound up and extremely frightened.
I made myself walk to the meeting room at the opposite end of the floor. I forced my feet to move - one in front of the other, until I reached Jane's desk. Jane and "Sally" were sat together talking. I forced a bright smile "I'll wait for you in there, Sally?" and I pointed behind Jil and Sally to the meeting room.
"Yep okay" Sally responded.
My heart was thudding against my rib cage and I honestly thought it would break through and leap right out.
I sat in a chair on the side of the boardroom table and waited, biting my lip and clenching and unclenching my hands for what seemed like a year.
Sally walked in after a few moments, and I immediately felt an unease because instead of taking a chair next to me at the 6-seater table - she took one over to the right and 2 full seats away from me. We ended up having to lean across the table diagonally and raise our voices just so we could hear each other. This was very strange.
Is this a tactic that managers use to put their opponents at a disadvantage? Because I was definitely affected by it.
In hindsight, I should have gotten up and moved either directly across from Sally or taken the end seat next to her.
Hmm.
Anyway.
"Why are you frowning?" Sally asked, clearly concerned.
I took a deep breath.
Stop frowning, JD.
"Janet. You look like a deer caught in headlights" Sally chuckled "I'm not going to hurt you. Relax!"
But trying to relax made me feel even more awkward.
I gave a wobbly smile "Sorry"
Sally smiled back "It's okay. Just calm down. What did you think was going to happen that you have to look so scared?"
"You're going to yell at me"
Sally chuckled again "No I'm not. I'm not going to yell. I don't yell"
She does, though. Sally is known in the office for being quite the bulldog and I have seen her make girls cry with how absolutely fierce she is.
I didn't say any of this.
"Ok" I managed to squeak out.
"You're okay, Janet" she assured. "I just wanted to to check in with you. You've had a lot of Doctor's appointments over the last few weeks, so I just wanted to see how you are feeling - are you fit for work? Are you ok?"
Doctor's appointments?
Well. That threw me.
I've had 2 in the last 4 weeks. Is that a lot? 1 because I thought my iron was low (it wasn't. Grr) and 1 because I wanted the Doctor to change my antidepressants (he didn't. Argh).
"Uhh sure" I responded "I'm...fine"
"OK. Because I have a duty of care to make sure all the staff - and temps - are okay in what they're doing - that they're healthy and well"
"Ok. Sure"
"So you're ok?" Sally asked
"I'm fine" I assured
"Well now" Sally smiled "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
It really wasn't.
But I was not convinced.
"Can you just tell me off now for whatever it is I've done so we can move on and then I can get back on with work?" I asked.
Woah.
I didn't think I had it in me.
"Like I said, it was just a check to see how you're going health-wise" Sally said.
"Just that?" I asked. Still unconvinced.
"Well...that, and..." and Sally took some deep breaths.
I bloody knew it.
Okay, here we go.
"I'm not really sure what your role is here, Janet. I watch you and a lot of the time, you're wandering about and talking to people. What is it you actually do?"
I opened my mouth to answer.
"And also, you have been claiming a lot of time on your timesheets that you haven't earned"
Wait.
What?!?
I have???
"Yes" Sally continued "You mark off a lot of your lunches as 30 minutes, but I have watched you (again with the watching?!?) and you are gone at least an hour every time"
That's because I spend half of my lunch doing WORK STUFF, Sally. I'm buying office supplies or in line at the post office mailing things FOR STAFF. I'm taking phonecalls the entire "lunch break" from work and answering queries. I decided when filling in my timesheets that as half the time is spent 'working', I'd mark my actual break as 30 minutes. It is actually A LOT less than that.
I didn't know how to say this.
I didn't know how to defend myself.
"But I..." was all I managed to get out.
"It's an easy mistake to make - lots of girls on the recruitment team do it. I watch all of you very, very carefully and I make a note of whenever one of you leaves the building and take another note of when you come back. It's easily fixed. I have taken the liberty of re-doing your timesheet for you - to reflect your actual hours worked. All you have to do is sign it and re-submit it. Okay?"
But it didn't feel ok at all. It felt like I'd been railroaded. I wasn't quite sure how.
"Janet?" Sally prompted "okay?"
I found myself nodding.
But this isn't ok.
I just feel bombarded so I'll go along with it.
"But I'd really like to -" and I was going to say "explain about the lunches"
Sally cut me off - "Oh my God, you would not BELIEVE the amount of work stress I am under - there is so much to do and I'm mostly on my own trying to get..."
and I got to meet my match in terms of talking non stop because for the next 45 minutes, that's what Sally did. Talked. Non stop. I don't even think she came up for air. Not once. Sally was talking about her job, about being under pressure, about changes to her team, expectations of her leadership, how she worries over "her girls" (she manages the entire recruitment team ), how she has "so much to f**king do" and "not enough f**king time".
I just nodded at the appropriate times and wondered how long this was going to last. Sally used the 'f' word a lot. I felt uncomfortable with her complaints - mostly because I didn't understand what she was on about and also because I couldn't help. And I love to help people.
So I kept "um"ing and "ah"ing at the right times (I hope) and Sally just kept on going. And going and going and going.
I don't even think Sally would have noticed if I didn't respond, she was in a world of her own. She was in the zone and enjoying every minute, God bless her.
I noticed when the meeting (can we still call it that? It was basically a way for Sally to complain without pause) began, Sally's shoulders were hunched - as if she was carrying a large, invisible burden on her back. When we ended (thank God it ended - I was so lost) Sally looked a lot happier. Her back was straight and her face was beaming.
"Oh that felt good" she smiled across at me. "I feel so much better now! Thanks"
Uh sure.
No problems?
But now I'm left thinking:
Sally still doesn't know what I do. AND I WORK MY ASS OFF in this role.
I didn't get a chance to explain my timesheets and that I'm not trying to rip the company off, I'm actually working during my lunches and if anything, under-billing the company for my time.
Sally feels great and has been humming to herself the rest of the afternoon. I know because I can hear and see her from my desk. A very clear view.
I, on the other hand...feel JIPPED.
What on earth happened there???
So, I used this to my advantage today and tracked "Sally" and her EVERY move from when I received her email about a meeting (8:45am) to when we were scheduled to be in the meeting room (12noon). I worried the entire time I followed her bobbing, blonde head around. I stared at the clock on my computer screen so hard and for so long, the image blurred.
Every minute leading up to 'the meeting' was pure torture.
Am I getting fired?
Why haven't I saved more money for times like this?
How quickly can I get another job?
What have I done wrong?
*mentally scanning for anything I could have done wrong and not finding anything so wondering if I accidentally downloaded and watched hours of porn on my work computer*
Worrying, worrying, worrying.
Worrying some more. Tracking Sally's every move around the office. Wondering when she 'disappeared' for over an hour if she'd gone to get a shotgun or if she was sharpening her knives or cross bow in the kitchen to kill me with.
By the time 12noon arrived, I had sweated about 4 kilos off my body, was shaking, anxious, wound up and extremely frightened.
I made myself walk to the meeting room at the opposite end of the floor. I forced my feet to move - one in front of the other, until I reached Jane's desk. Jane and "Sally" were sat together talking. I forced a bright smile "I'll wait for you in there, Sally?" and I pointed behind Jil and Sally to the meeting room.
"Yep okay" Sally responded.
My heart was thudding against my rib cage and I honestly thought it would break through and leap right out.
I sat in a chair on the side of the boardroom table and waited, biting my lip and clenching and unclenching my hands for what seemed like a year.
Sally walked in after a few moments, and I immediately felt an unease because instead of taking a chair next to me at the 6-seater table - she took one over to the right and 2 full seats away from me. We ended up having to lean across the table diagonally and raise our voices just so we could hear each other. This was very strange.
Is this a tactic that managers use to put their opponents at a disadvantage? Because I was definitely affected by it.
In hindsight, I should have gotten up and moved either directly across from Sally or taken the end seat next to her.
Hmm.
Anyway.
"Why are you frowning?" Sally asked, clearly concerned.
I took a deep breath.
Stop frowning, JD.
"Janet. You look like a deer caught in headlights" Sally chuckled "I'm not going to hurt you. Relax!"
But trying to relax made me feel even more awkward.
I gave a wobbly smile "Sorry"
Sally smiled back "It's okay. Just calm down. What did you think was going to happen that you have to look so scared?"
"You're going to yell at me"
Sally chuckled again "No I'm not. I'm not going to yell. I don't yell"
She does, though. Sally is known in the office for being quite the bulldog and I have seen her make girls cry with how absolutely fierce she is.
I didn't say any of this.
"Ok" I managed to squeak out.
"You're okay, Janet" she assured. "I just wanted to to check in with you. You've had a lot of Doctor's appointments over the last few weeks, so I just wanted to see how you are feeling - are you fit for work? Are you ok?"
Doctor's appointments?
Well. That threw me.
I've had 2 in the last 4 weeks. Is that a lot? 1 because I thought my iron was low (it wasn't. Grr) and 1 because I wanted the Doctor to change my antidepressants (he didn't. Argh).
"Uhh sure" I responded "I'm...fine"
"OK. Because I have a duty of care to make sure all the staff - and temps - are okay in what they're doing - that they're healthy and well"
"Ok. Sure"
"So you're ok?" Sally asked
"I'm fine" I assured
"Well now" Sally smiled "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
It really wasn't.
But I was not convinced.
"Can you just tell me off now for whatever it is I've done so we can move on and then I can get back on with work?" I asked.
Woah.
I didn't think I had it in me.
"Like I said, it was just a check to see how you're going health-wise" Sally said.
"Just that?" I asked. Still unconvinced.
"Well...that, and..." and Sally took some deep breaths.
I bloody knew it.
Okay, here we go.
"I'm not really sure what your role is here, Janet. I watch you and a lot of the time, you're wandering about and talking to people. What is it you actually do?"
I opened my mouth to answer.
"And also, you have been claiming a lot of time on your timesheets that you haven't earned"
Wait.
What?!?
I have???
"Yes" Sally continued "You mark off a lot of your lunches as 30 minutes, but I have watched you (again with the watching?!?) and you are gone at least an hour every time"
That's because I spend half of my lunch doing WORK STUFF, Sally. I'm buying office supplies or in line at the post office mailing things FOR STAFF. I'm taking phonecalls the entire "lunch break" from work and answering queries. I decided when filling in my timesheets that as half the time is spent 'working', I'd mark my actual break as 30 minutes. It is actually A LOT less than that.
I didn't know how to say this.
I didn't know how to defend myself.
"But I..." was all I managed to get out.
"It's an easy mistake to make - lots of girls on the recruitment team do it. I watch all of you very, very carefully and I make a note of whenever one of you leaves the building and take another note of when you come back. It's easily fixed. I have taken the liberty of re-doing your timesheet for you - to reflect your actual hours worked. All you have to do is sign it and re-submit it. Okay?"
But it didn't feel ok at all. It felt like I'd been railroaded. I wasn't quite sure how.
"Janet?" Sally prompted "okay?"
I found myself nodding.
But this isn't ok.
I just feel bombarded so I'll go along with it.
"But I'd really like to -" and I was going to say "explain about the lunches"
Sally cut me off - "Oh my God, you would not BELIEVE the amount of work stress I am under - there is so much to do and I'm mostly on my own trying to get..."
and I got to meet my match in terms of talking non stop because for the next 45 minutes, that's what Sally did. Talked. Non stop. I don't even think she came up for air. Not once. Sally was talking about her job, about being under pressure, about changes to her team, expectations of her leadership, how she worries over "her girls" (she manages the entire recruitment team ), how she has "so much to f**king do" and "not enough f**king time".
I just nodded at the appropriate times and wondered how long this was going to last. Sally used the 'f' word a lot. I felt uncomfortable with her complaints - mostly because I didn't understand what she was on about and also because I couldn't help. And I love to help people.
So I kept "um"ing and "ah"ing at the right times (I hope) and Sally just kept on going. And going and going and going.
I don't even think Sally would have noticed if I didn't respond, she was in a world of her own. She was in the zone and enjoying every minute, God bless her.
I noticed when the meeting (can we still call it that? It was basically a way for Sally to complain without pause) began, Sally's shoulders were hunched - as if she was carrying a large, invisible burden on her back. When we ended (thank God it ended - I was so lost) Sally looked a lot happier. Her back was straight and her face was beaming.
"Oh that felt good" she smiled across at me. "I feel so much better now! Thanks"
Uh sure.
No problems?
But now I'm left thinking:
Sally still doesn't know what I do. AND I WORK MY ASS OFF in this role.
I didn't get a chance to explain my timesheets and that I'm not trying to rip the company off, I'm actually working during my lunches and if anything, under-billing the company for my time.
Sally feels great and has been humming to herself the rest of the afternoon. I know because I can hear and see her from my desk. A very clear view.
I, on the other hand...feel JIPPED.
What on earth happened there???
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