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it would mean a lot to Dad

With Jay refusing to speak to me or acknowledge me (he really knows how to take "you're dead to me" to the next level), I guess it's the reverse of divorce for my parents - it's their kids that aren't talking.

Or at least, Jay isn't talking back.

I'm trying not to hate him for how much he puts me through but every year, it's getting so much harder.

I know how hard I found it when my parents divorced and how hurt my friends were when their parents divorced - its like having to witness your family being torn in half and it is awful. So I'm guessing it's much the same for parents whose children aren't talking anymore. It must be painful to watch.

Anyway.

I know it would mean a great deal to both my parents to see us in the same room together. With Dad's birthday coming up next week and Dad having moved back to the city (we'll see how that goes!)I thought this was a great opportunity to 'bury the hatchet' (no JD - it's not the same if you bury it in Jay's face) and get together.

I think of how much it would bless my parents to see Jay and I talking and it made me swallow my pride YET AGAIN and text Jay.

I texted YET ANOTHER APOLOGY and asked him to meet with me for Dad's birthday.

That was 2 hours ago.

Nothing back yet.

Do I even dare to hope or have I just shot myself in the foot - AGAIN - waiting for Jay to respond to me?

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