God makes beauty from ashes

"Purging" my heart and all my fears last night wasnt as healthy and empowering as I thought it would be. I actually couldnt sleep thinking "oh my God...people I love and think dearly of have read my fears, my demands upon myself and my b*tchy rantings and ravings. But it's out there now, isn't it? (*whispers* I might still delete yesterday's post...I'll file it mentally under "too much information") Again, I had another good day. I worked for 4 hours as the Government "tea lady" this morning. Although it has it's cons (I basically circle 3 kitchens on 2 different floor levels and just do the dishes every time someone has left them as well as re-fill coffee, tea and hot chocolate canisters on every visit which is lonely and sometimes awkward), it has it's pros - I get to greet some really happy/nice staff members, Donna - my manager in this placement - is really lovely and leaves me home made cookies on the mornings when

how do I get up and move on from my past when it's in my heart and on my mind so much? almost a week ago, I got an email from my ex-mother-in-law. To see Jon's Mom's name in my inbox made my heart ache. The part of me that still listens out for Santa on Christmas Eve hoped it was going to be a nice email. I've missed Joan so much. It wasn't nice, though. But to be honest, it wasn't horrible, either - it was just... cold . Joan wants me to ship my boxes from the container at Church - NOW. She reminded me of my promise to do it 4 years ago which I'm mortified at being so crap at keeping. I'm so thankful they kept my things for me instead of just throwing them out. So I've been researching shipping companies and international freight companies. I got a fairly good quote from a great company over in the UK who will collect my boxes from Prescot, ship them to me and deliver them to my front door here in Australia. Pretty good, eh? The thin