God makes beauty from ashes

Yeah I can tell Im getting better because even though things are tough right now and Im sad and a bit fed up and weary...I still have hope :) I cant help it, it's who I am. I got an email from "Sandy" today. I really care about her and I look up to her and will probably read her email again when im less tired from a long day and it will make more sense...but for now, what I think she was trying to say to me was to take a bit more ownership of my life and to stop asking God to fix it all...or something like that...and I want you to know, Sandy - Im taking ownership of it and doing it ALL myself...but I believe in God and I believe that he hears me and so Im taking EVERYTHING to Him and just asking for some direction on this. I'll email you personally about about that another day. Thanks for always being there for me. I keep trying and failing and falling, then getting excited about something new and getting back up. Im on a very strange path just now and although

That's what I was doing at 3:30pm yesterday afternoon. I got a text that afternoon from Mike after 4 days of hearing NOTHING from him and having about 5 heart attacks because I naturally imagine the worst when someone I care for is out of contact. Mike texted "hey, i can meet you in the city at 4 if that suits"...it felt like getting a work invite...I knew just from this that things weren't going to go well. Mike had dissapeared for days and days. His phone rang but he just didnt want to take my calls. I left a few worried messages and sent a few worried texts and he FINALLY contacted me on Saturday to say "stop worrying Janet. Im fine. I'll call you when im able to talk"...wtf? when he's able to talk? about WHAT? I didnt hear from Mike again until Sunday afternoon when he texted he could meet me in the city at 4. And now you're all caught up. So there I was, 3:30pm brushing my hair and inspecting my face in the mirror and wondering