Okay. I'm in a bad way. In theory, I'm pretty blessed. I have a home, a handsome fiance. Good friends...and in a world of financial instability...I have a full time job. I have a lot to be thankful for. But my mind and heart right now cant accept that. Instead I feel so very, very low. I cried all the way into work on the bus. I couldn't hide it. I couldn't help it. I cried at work. All throughout the day. Fi got nervous and handed me a "free counselling" card. I have an appointment on Wednesday. I cried in the toilet cubicle on my lunch. I cried coming home. I cried on the phone to my usual psych, "George" I dont know why or how, but I feel he doesn't understand me, doesn't want to help me and that I cant talk to him anymore. The loss. I feel like I've lost a friend. I'm crying now while I type to you. I feel lost, alone, completely freakin' miserable and I feel like it's never going to end. The
Father God, Thank you. Thank you for every blessing in my life. Please help me to see the small blessings and to always hope for the big ones. My life is in your hands. Amen xx