God makes beauty from ashes

Hey you, I wanted to fill you in on where I'm at right now. I'm hoping that as I write and explain it to you, I'll gain a better understanding of it myself. Here goes: I am deeply unhappy - because I'm knackered . I'm so physically, emotionally and mentally EXHAUSTED that I'm fed up, burnt out - and I just want to quit. Not just my job - I want to quit EVERYTHING. Guys, I'm just so tired. Tired in my very bones - that kind of tired. I've been going on and on about my weight so just over a week ago, I decided I'd do something about it. I signed up for the "28 day challenge" at the same gym Alun goes to. They run a daily 'bootcamp' and Alun swears by it. I had no idea what I was getting myself into! OMG. What's surprising is - I actually really like it . I liked 'bootcamp' right away. It's held in a Warehouse/open plan gym that's huge. There are around 30-60 people who go and it's held EVERY DAY

that's what it feels like to be me, at the moment - that I don't know anymore who 'me' is. I think not going to the gym or yoga anymore and putting back all the weight I lost before has knocked my confidence and has made me sort of climb back into my shell/cave and not want to come out. Now at work I'm letting people walk all over me and I'm resenting it but allowing it to happen because I feel like I deserve it. I deserve this . I feel so lost, you guys; like a ship that has no anchor or rudder and is just drifting about at sea, hoping for the best. Where am I headed? Why? Where is it I should be going? Why? Every day, I say to myself " It's going to be okay, JD. You're going to be ok " and every week, I say to myself " next week will be better " but you know what? It never is. Every week I feel more and more exhausted. Having a trapped nerve isn't helping much with things. It was such an intense pain for so long - pai