God makes beauty from ashes

I read my Bible a lot. Sometimes more than others. Sometimes just one verse a day...but still, it's there in my heart. God's word. Sometimes it makes a lot of sense and other times, I wonder what on earth God meant. Like the phrase David quoted in many Psalms "renew my mind" I would read it and think "eh?" Get a new mind?!? why? how? Mostly "why" though - because I think a lot of what makes us who we are - is what we think. But today, I think I get it. I'm weighed down with depression and have been for a good few weeks. Ever since I started my new job. Ever since "Joyce" started bullying me. And now, I long for a new mind. A new way of thinking and being - especially at work. The truth is, it's probably not that bad. Joyce hasn't stabbed me or hurt me - she's never touched me. She just shouts a lot. She's brash and brittle and unpleasant to be around...but she's not ever physically hurt me...

Hey :) Oh my gosh, it's been sooo long since I last blogged. I can't tell you how good it feels to have the weight of my apple Mac on my lap and touch the familiar keys - hearing the gentle 'clickety-clack' as I write...this is my idea of heaven. Well okay - one of my many ideas. Don't get me started. I have LOADS to write to you about: My family Alun and I and our trip to Koh Samui My new job My new struggles in my new job (arrghhhh) and a lot of other things... ...but for tonight, while Alun is snoring softly in our bedroom down the hall and I'm alone in the living room with the heating on...I'll tell you about Milton. Milton is what I would have named our little boy if Alun and I ever had a baby. I grew up all my life thinking I wanted to be a Mom. Then I married Jonathan and wondered WHY people wanted to be Mom's in the first place as with him, I just didn't feel it. I didn't feel a need to make a family with him, we were both...