God makes beauty from ashes

So, Im dying to tell you guys about my week so far, you ready for some patented "Janet sillyness" or wot? Alrighty here goes: DAY 1: Okay, so im nervous...and you know what happens when im nervous, right? My brain departs my body and my mouth starts working on its own. Mental note for the future: mouth without brain DOES NOT WORK OUT WELL. I go into work which is a HUGE building, very posh with a posh reception (complete with doorman - woooooooooo!) and I am directed to the very top floor (oooohhhh!) to meet my new boss. A nice lady introduces herself as Lorraine and says I will be working for her as a secretary. I think to myself "okay, that's fine" and sit at my new desk. Which is brand new, huge and by a huge bay window overlooking the city. In short, IT ROCKS! then it all starts to change. A tall, old man who is very posh and refined and downright intimidating walks up to me, hands me a HUGE pile of work and says "have that done by 3-3:30 bec...

The microwave that Alun's boss donated to us did a very strange thing today - it started affirming who it was and what it's role was...really randomly. I think the power had cut out - so the microwave screen flashed; and the time Alun had programmed in when we first plugged it in went missing. All that was left was the two dots ":" that flash by themselves. I guess the Microwave got bored of this and decided instead to flash up "Microwave, 700 watts, super heating, super fast, amazing range of heat settings..." and ended with it's title (sorry, no idea what make or model it is and  I'm too lazy to get up and go have a look at it so I'll make one up, ok?) "Sanyo 2000". The MICROWAVE knows what it is and knows its purpose. How pathetic am I that I am jealous of the microwave??? So, here goes: (and...these arent in any 'correct' order so please just bear with me if it seems superficial until the end when I've obviously...