So, Im dying to tell you guys about my week so far, you ready for some patented "Janet sillyness" or wot?
Alrighty here goes:
DAY 1:
Okay, so im nervous...and you know what happens when im nervous, right? My brain departs my body and my mouth starts working on its own. Mental note for the future: mouth without brain DOES NOT WORK OUT WELL. I go into work which is a HUGE building, very posh with a posh reception (complete with doorman - woooooooooo!) and I am directed to the very top floor (oooohhhh!) to meet my new boss. A nice lady introduces herself as Lorraine and says I will be working for her as a secretary. I think to myself "okay, that's fine" and sit at my new desk. Which is brand new, huge and by a huge bay window overlooking the city. In short, IT ROCKS!
then it all starts to change.
A tall, old man who is very posh and refined and downright intimidating walks up to me, hands me a HUGE pile of work and says "have that done by 3-3:30 because I want to leave by then". I am shocked and scared to death. I think I may have done something nasty in my pants. I try the 'janet approach' and give him my best smile and say "im new here today so im not sure how to do this" and he replies "just get on with it" and walks off.
From then on, the day gets more stressful
and more weird...
I quickly find out (while im furiously typing and trying to get all this work done) that my agency have TOTALLY LIED to me! Im not a secretary for a nice lady called Lorraine, I am in fact a PERSONAL ASSISTANT to a very grumpy, stern man called "Derwyn" who is a huge top-executive architect for the whole of Liverpool. He does stuff you would not believe! His buildings are incredible. His desk is HUGE and covered in drawings, scetches and plans...probably for the Queen! Alright, maybe not for the Queen, but for very important things none the less.
From the second I hand back his weird-ass work, I spend the rest of the afternoon racing around the city centre fulfilling my new boss' weird-ass requests. I know you've seen "the devil wears prada" so you'll know what I mean when I say IM LIVING THAT MOVIE RIGHT NOW. I have to go out every day to get coffee from weird places (because he only likes a particular brand of bean, of course!), sandwiches/food from weird places, I have to send flowers, organise meetings, PERSONALLY DELIVER gifts/mail/pets/documents/building presentations, I have to make coffee, remind Delwyn of his appointments and basically run his life for him.
Lovely.
So as you can tell when I wearily arrived home from my first day of WEIRD work, I almost collapsed and went to bed at 7:30pm and didnt open my eyes again until the next morning. Luckily, Jon totally spoiled me and Jon's mom cooked tea that night as she knew I'd be tired. Hooray!
DAY 2:
Pretty much the same as Day 1 apart from my systematic breaking of EVERY PEICE OF ELECTRICAL EQUIPMENT in the office. Yes, its true. Since Delwyn was in meetings until 3:00pm, I was given some 'office work' to do. First, I was asked to make coffee for the office staff.
I broke the coffee maker.
Then I was asked to do some photocopying. I didnt know that the photocopier has an element of HEAT to it's process and I put in an overhead plastic peice of A4. You think you can guess the rest, but you have NO IDEA how bad it was. The plastic bit went in, then the photocopier grumbled a bit, shook a bit then stopped. The overhead sheet had MELTED in the photocopier and as a result, a technician had to be called out and all the work in the office had to stop because of me.
So I broke the photocopier, too.
Then, someone (foolishly) asked me to bind some documents. All was going well until I noticed the handle was getting harder and harder to pull down. If you havent binded anything before, I'll explain it: you put some papers in the front of a binding machine and pull down HARD on the lever on the side which punches holes in the paper for you to put a binding spine through. It's all very easy and makes things look quite posh when you're done with them. Well, I had to pull harder and harder on the lever until suddenly...
I pulled the entire handle RIGHT OFF.
it couldnt be re-attached.
a new one had to be ordered.
I was sent to do the filing for the rest of the afternoon.
DAY 3:
well, im still in day 3, nothing has been broken and although I've gone on a few weird assignments for Delwyn, it's a pretty normal day. If I manage to do anything embarassing later today, I'll email you!
Anyway Beautiful ladies, that's it for me. I miss you all so much and wish I could go and visit you after my hard day's work. I cannot WAIT until Friday when I can go home and NEVER RETURN to this weird place again. Remind in future not to be anyone's PA okay?
Love you loads,
Janet xx
Alrighty
DAY 1:
Okay, so im nervous...and you know what happens when im nervous, right? My brain departs my body and my mouth starts working on its own. Mental note for the future: mouth without brain DOES NOT WORK OUT WELL. I go into work which is a HUGE building, very posh with a posh reception (complete with doorman - woooooooooo!) and I am directed to the very top floor (oooohhhh!) to meet my new boss. A nice lady introduces herself as Lorraine and says I will be working for her as a secretary. I think to myself "okay, that's fine" and sit at my new desk. Which is brand new, huge and by a huge bay window overlooking the city. In short, IT ROCKS!
then it all starts to change.
A tall, old man who is very posh and refined and downright intimidating walks up to me, hands me a HUGE pile of work and says "have that done by 3-3:30 because I want to leave by then". I am shocked and scared to death. I think I may have done something nasty in my pants. I try the 'janet approach' and give him my best smile and say "im new here today so im not sure how to do this" and he replies "just get on with it" and walks off.
From then on, the day gets more stressful
and more weird...
I quickly find out (while im furiously typing and trying to get all this work done) that my agency have TOTALLY LIED to me! Im not a secretary for a nice lady called Lorraine, I am in fact a PERSONAL ASSISTANT to a very grumpy, stern man called "Derwyn" who is a huge top-executive architect for the whole of Liverpool. He does stuff you would not believe! His buildings are incredible. His desk is HUGE and covered in drawings, scetches and plans...probably for the Queen! Alright, maybe not for the Queen, but for very important things none the less.
From the second I hand back his weird-ass work, I spend the rest of the afternoon racing around the city centre fulfilling my new boss' weird-ass requests. I know you've seen "the devil wears prada" so you'll know what I mean when I say IM LIVING THAT MOVIE RIGHT NOW. I have to go out every day to get coffee from weird places (because he only likes a particular brand of bean, of course!), sandwiches/food from weird places, I have to send flowers, organise meetings, PERSONALLY DELIVER gifts/mail/pets/documents/building presentations, I have to make coffee, remind Delwyn of his appointments and basically run his life for him.
Lovely.
So as you can tell
DAY 2:
Pretty much the same as Day 1
I broke the coffee maker.
Then I was asked to do some photocopying. I didnt know that the photocopier has an element of HEAT to it's process and I put in an overhead plastic peice of A4. You think you can guess the rest, but you have NO IDEA how bad it was. The plastic bit went in, then the photocopier grumbled a bit, shook a bit
So I broke the photocopier, too.
Then, someone (foolishly) asked me to bind some documents. All was going well until I noticed the handle was getting harder and harder to pull down. If you havent binded anything before, I'll explain it: you put some papers in the front of a binding machine and pull down HARD on the lever on the side which punches holes in the paper for you to put a binding spine through. It's all very easy and makes things look quite posh when you're done with them. Well, I had to pull harder and harder on the lever
I pulled the entire handle RIGHT OFF.
it couldnt be re-attached.
a new one had to be ordered.
I was sent to do the filing for the rest of the afternoon.
DAY 3:
well, im still in day 3, nothing has been broken and although I've gone on a few weird assignments for Delwyn, it's a pretty normal day. If I manage to do anything embarassing later today, I'll email you!
Anyway Beautiful ladies, that's it for me. I miss you all so much and wish I could go and visit you after my hard day's work. I cannot WAIT until Friday when I can go home and NEVER RETURN to this weird place again. Remind in future not to be anyone's PA okay?
Love you loads,
Janet xx
Comments
Post a Comment