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umm

Okay. I'm in a bad way.

In theory, I'm pretty blessed. I have a home, a handsome fiance. Good friends...and in a world of financial instability...I have a full time job.

I have a lot to be thankful for.

But my mind and heart right now cant accept that. Instead I feel so very, very low.

I cried all the way into work on the bus. I couldn't hide it. I couldn't help it.

I cried at work. All throughout the day.

Fi got nervous and handed me a "free counselling" card.

I have an appointment on Wednesday.

I cried in the toilet cubicle on my lunch.

I cried coming home.

I cried on the phone to my usual psych, "George"

I dont know why or how, but I feel he doesn't understand me, doesn't want to help me and that I cant talk to him anymore.

The loss. I feel like I've lost a friend.

I'm crying now while I type to you.

I feel lost, alone, completely freakin' miserable and I feel like it's never going to end.

The voice of reason in my head says "Remember your Bible. God says This too shall pass"

But I don't think it will. I honestly don't think it ever will.

Comments

  1. LynelleMarch 31, 2014 at 1:27 PM

    It'll be okay again. It will. I promise. I don't even have any means of making that come true but I know it will so I'm promising. Things were good before, remember? They'll be good again. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not the day after. But they will.

    ReplyDelete

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