God makes beauty from ashes

Hey, It's been a mad week of racing around showing Becci the best parts of Perth. I couldn't be more proud of Alun and how generous, patient and sweet he is. I love my husband - he's paid for everything and hasn't complained, he's just been AMAZING. I've loved time with Becci and I've realised how very old I am because keeping up with a 21 year old is EXHAUSTING. My bones ache! yes JD...You're old. I wanted to write a short blog today about going to Rottnest with Alun and Becci - which was a pretty wonderful day - because something very important stood out to me. I don't know if I've already told you this, but I'm rubbish lately on a bike. I used to be awesome at it, then about 20 years passed and I wasn't so great at it. I remember spending a day cycling around Mandurah with my beloved friend "G" and mostly face-planting and stacking it - because I struggled to balance on his Mom's bike. When we checked out our...

The last time I was in my psych appointment, George said something that struck me. He said "Janet. You've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder" I've 'Googled' and 'Youtubed' it and it's not good, you guys. It's not good at all. Basically, it means I'm a really clingy, crazy woman. It means I don't know how to have relationships and that I'm so scared of being abandoned that I do crazy things to make sure you'll stay with me. I'll lie to you, manipulate you and sometimes physically force you to stay near me/with me. What?!? Borderline personality 'types' are people who don't know who they truly are or how to be around others 'properly'. According to my 'research', they are attention seekers, they are toxic , they're obsessive and they tend to see things in very black or white - no middle areas. This is who I am? Toxic, manipulative, forceful...a liar? A search o...

I sat across from *George in the psych office we usually meet in. I took in his kind eyes, his familiar face and the way I love - and have always loved - how his cheeks bunch up into little...let's go with balloons...when he smiles. And George smiles a lot. Part of why I like him and look up to him so much. Today's session was particularly hard. It reminded me of whenever I show Alun a bruise and the first thing he always does - is reach out and poke it. George did that today with my emotional bruises. Curiously poked them. It wasn't fun. "You've grown and matured so much in the last year, Janet" He said, smiling one of his familiar wise smiles I felt really blessed by this assessment. It's not often I get a compliment from George. "You're finding ways to be more comfortable in your own skin...more accepting... and this is a really good thing" he continued, pressing his fingertips together and raising curious eyebrows slig...