God makes beauty from ashes

Alun and I were watching a crime documentary where Prescot, Merseyside came up on telly. OMG it was so exciting!!! "That's where I used to live!" I was shouting and bouncing on the couch and Alun was laughing and telling me to calm down. It was wonderful to see the Town Center and familiar shops and cafes again. I think back on it now and I'm so blessed to have been able to walk to the Church, walk to Tescos (for endless supply of peanut cookies...OMG I miss them), walk to the gym (makes me miss Marc so much), just be a quick walk away from the train station or the 10A bus (see that? I remember!) and walk to the town Center whenever I wanted. Just so blessed. I had so many memories of Prescot. It used to be my home, after all. My favourite memories were of going to "Youthy" on Friday nights, going to Church twice a day on Sundays, Bible study in the week and of course, 'Kids club' (oh I miss them) on a...what evening was it on? Wednesday? Let...

It's been 2 years since my brother acknowledged my existence. That is enough to break my heart. What REPEATEDLY breaks it is that my parents are OK with my brother's treatment of me. HOW IS THIS OKAY?!? I currently have a blood clot on my lung and if it was to move and get into my blood system, I would die from it. Dad called my brother to tell him the 'news' of this and asked Jay to ring me. Jay did not. And everyone is okay with this. Except Alun and I. Alun is outraged Jay could be so callous and uncaring. I'm outraged that Jay could be so selfish because I know if roles were reversed, I would call him instantly. I have a 1 and a half year old nephew I have never met. I'm fairly sure I will NEVER meet him. Because Jay will take this grudge he holds against me to his grave . I know it. He would rather be DEAD than to make peace with me. Literally. I've apologised so many times that I've lost count. I saw Mom yesterday (Dad sent...

Hey you, I'm at work and I really love this job. I don't know if I love it because 1) I really need a job 2) It's temporary so I'm not getting caught up in making friends/impressing people but I like coming into work every day and time goes by really fast. I'm getting paid really well and I like the people I work with. I'm pretty blessed. Thank you, God. Today I wanted to write about "the 3 P's" - the 3 signs that the guy you're in love with is in love with you, too. I wanted to add my own thing to the 3 P's though - the big C. Stay with me on this one, I'll explain as I go. I read in a book by Steve Harvey that if a man is in love, he'll do these 3 things: PROTECT PROVIDE PROCLAIM. Protect: He'll stick up for you. He'll take your side. He'll be especially protective of you and want to keep you safe at all times . Alun does all these in my life. If we're out and about and he sees another person coming...

Hey, So not a lot has happened in my life since I last wrote to you. I suck at resting and I suck at getting anything done because the house is still a mess, my life in general is a mess and I'm tired even though I've not been in work for almost 6 weeks now because I worry and stress anyway. What is my life? Anxious about money, I re-joined a few Employment Agencies and asked them to please put me into some temporary work assignments (a day or two here and there) so I could raise some much needed funds to help tide Alun and I over while I am 'resting' and also in the 6 weeks (maybe more?) it will take me to recover from the Operation in June. LOGICALLY: I need to use this time to lose weight and get fit (as much as possible anyway) so that the operation will go well and I will help speed up my healing/recovery time I would like to work and put aside some money so that while I'm recovering, I can still pay towards bills and still have a bit of independenc...