God makes beauty from ashes

Alun and I were watching a crime documentary where Prescot, Merseyside came up on telly. OMG it was so exciting!!! "That's where I used to live!" I was shouting and bouncing on the couch and Alun was laughing and telling me to calm down. It was wonderful to see the Town Center and familiar shops and cafes again. I think back on it now and I'm so blessed to have been able to walk to the Church, walk to Tescos (for endless supply of peanut cookies...OMG I miss them), walk to the gym (makes me miss Marc so much), just be a quick walk away from the train station or the 10A bus (see that? I remember!) and walk to the town Center whenever I wanted. Just so blessed. I had so many memories of Prescot. It used to be my home, after all. My favourite memories were of going to "Youthy" on Friday nights, going to Church twice a day on Sundays, Bible study in the week and of course, 'Kids club' (oh I miss them) on a...what evening was it on? Wednesday? Let...

It's been 2 years since my brother acknowledged my existence. That is enough to break my heart. What REPEATEDLY breaks it is that my parents are OK with my brother's treatment of me. HOW IS THIS OKAY?!? I currently have a blood clot on my lung and if it was to move and get into my blood system, I would die from it. Dad called my brother to tell him the 'news' of this and asked Jay to ring me. Jay did not. And everyone is okay with this. Except Alun and I. Alun is outraged Jay could be so callous and uncaring. I'm outraged that Jay could be so selfish because I know if roles were reversed, I would call him instantly. I have a 1 and a half year old nephew I have never met. I'm fairly sure I will NEVER meet him. Because Jay will take this grudge he holds against me to his grave . I know it. He would rather be DEAD than to make peace with me. Literally. I've apologised so many times that I've lost count. I saw Mom yesterday (Dad sent...

Hey you, I'm at work and I really love this job. I don't know if I love it because 1) I really need a job 2) It's temporary so I'm not getting caught up in making friends/impressing people but I like coming into work every day and time goes by really fast. I'm getting paid really well and I like the people I work with. I'm pretty blessed. Thank you, God. Today I wanted to write about "the 3 P's" - the 3 signs that the guy you're in love with is in love with you, too. I wanted to add my own thing to the 3 P's though - the big C. Stay with me on this one, I'll explain as I go. I read in a book by Steve Harvey that if a man is in love, he'll do these 3 things: PROTECT PROVIDE PROCLAIM. Protect: He'll stick up for you. He'll take your side. He'll be especially protective of you and want to keep you safe at all times . Alun does all these in my life. If we're out and about and he sees another person coming...

Hey, So not a lot has happened in my life since I last wrote to you. I suck at resting and I suck at getting anything done because the house is still a mess, my life in general is a mess and I'm tired even though I've not been in work for almost 6 weeks now because I worry and stress anyway. What is my life? Anxious about money, I re-joined a few Employment Agencies and asked them to please put me into some temporary work assignments (a day or two here and there) so I could raise some much needed funds to help tide Alun and I over while I am 'resting' and also in the 6 weeks (maybe more?) it will take me to recover from the Operation in June. LOGICALLY: I need to use this time to lose weight and get fit (as much as possible anyway) so that the operation will go well and I will help speed up my healing/recovery time I would like to work and put aside some money so that while I'm recovering, I can still pay towards bills and still have a bit of independenc...

Hey you, Yeah it's been a while, I know. This blood clot in my lung is a lot more serious than I thought it was and has really affected me strongly. I'm tired all the time . I nap a lot - not because I love to nap (and I really do), but because I seem to actually need it. Breathing is hard. Walking is making me weary and just generally existing is tough. I saw the Surgeon on Monday - a kind old fellow. Dr M is good at his job and together we figured out a plan. I'll have surgery on 7th June where he'll take out the fibroid in my uterus as well as my ENTIRE WOMB. It's going to be a HUGE/serious surgery and will take me a long time to get better. Until June, I've been instructed very sternly to "just rest". By the way, Albert the Angel did call me, guys. He rang about a week after the whole hospital 'fiasco' and I didn't answer because it was an unknown number. He left me a voicemail with his name, explaining he drove me in an Uber ...

I think they are everywhere, you know...Angels. I think because they look just like regular people, we walk past them in the street, brush past them on buses and trains, maybe return their smiles in shopping centres or at parks, thank them when they hold the door open for us or let us on the bus before them even though they're ahead of us in the queue. I think I saw an angel once last year - crossing the street to talk with me when I was lost and I think I saw one earlier this week. I think he was my Uber driver and I think he was there to calm me down on my journey to the hospital emergency ward. Here's how it played out: I was scared. My heart was thumping away at 90 miles an hour as my GP had assessed my swollen, bulbous left leg and said "get straight to emergency in hospital". Oh shoot. So there I was. I stood in front of a Bankwest in the centre of Morley so I'd be easy to find. I booked in the Uber and typed out all the details it requested fo...

So, I'll catch you up on everything that's happened in the short space of a week. My leg swelled up as I was in a hair dressers getting my hair straightened earlier this week. I felt it before I saw it - a pressure that built up over the hours (it took FOUR HOURS to chemically straighten my hair!!! Can you believe it?) first in my ankle, then in my entire leg - as I was sat in the salon. My left ankle was throbbing and my leg felt...heavy...but I ignored it because I was excited about my hair. Later that same afternoon and I glanced down and noticed my left leg was almost twice the size as my right leg. This was not good. I made an appointment to see a local Doctor and he took one look at me and said "get yourself straight to the emergency ward at hospital. Go" I was so scared!!! Alun was at work and I was on my own. What was going on in my body??? I booked myself an Uber (I'll blog about that later) to the Hospital Emergency Ward. Since then, thi...