Right.
It's 8:53am on Tuesday morning.
Here's the update so far:
* I saw my GP yesterday, cried my heart out and she gave me another sick note for another week. Dr D held my hand in her tiny one and said "Janet if I need to write you one for every week for the rest of the year until you're smiling again, I will do it. If anyone at work has questions, get them to give me a call. I fully support you"
So I'm off for another week.
When that sick note touched my hand, I exhaled for the first time all day.
Instead of complaining today, I thought I'd remind myself of the huge blessings I have. Wanna hear?
(get comfy, this could be awhile)
On Monday night, Alun was excited. He and I stayed at Mom's apartment - which weirdly, Alun loves. He thinks it's 'cosy' and always wants to spend time here rather than Darren's mansion. Weird boy. Anyway, He said "I have a surprise for you!" and did a happy dance.
I dont know if I've mentioned it before, but Alun is ALWAYS happy. Even when he's stressed, he has a happiness about him.
So, Alun grabbed about 3 mysterious bags along with my hand, and we set off. We ended up at my favourite park right by the Claisebrook Inlet. The City has spent millions making the park INCREDIBLE. The inlet is like a culdesac (sp?) of water with the most breath-taking houses built right around it and leading back to the river. It looks like a modern-day Venice and is one of my favourite places in the world to go to.
We didnt sit at our usual table in the park, though. Alun had other ideas and kept smiling at me and squeezing my hand in excitement. We went past the park and followed the 'keep fit' pathway to a huge hill. Up we went and Alun laid out a picnic blanket, red wine and gorgeous food he'd put into little containers. He also took out a laptop and a dvd that had "for Janet" and little 'x's on it.
We ate dinner while Alun played my favourite songs through the laptop and it was really beautiful. The sun went down and we watched people jogging/walking/cycling and just...talked. It was lovely.
When the sun went down, Alun took my hand. I frowned in question and he laughed and said "no Janet, no ring or proposal today - that's later when I afford the ring I really want for you. Tonight instead...I wanted to make up for being apart from you on Australia day"
I waited for more.
"Well, we were apart and you said you couldn't see the fireworks from your balcony. So, I set up my video camera on the ironing board at home and taped the fireworks on tv. I had to sit in silence for half an hour! hahahhaa! I taped it for you and thought we could watch them here - over the river - together"
And in went the dvd...and the fireworks show over the river while Alun cuddled me from behind and smiled every time I said "woah!" or "sooo pretty!" or "Alun! Look! How nice is that one???" and I had the best night I've had in a long time.
Along with that came some realisations. Some nice ones.
I thought after Jonathan that no one would ever love me again. Then I got hopeful and thought maybe someone WOULD but that I would never again find someone romantic. Its odd when you break up with someone because if you loved them alot, you find yourself wanting a replica of them instead of someone new.
And that's what Alun is - someone NEW.
What I realise is, there are 2nd chances in love, as well as in other things.
I think when you are in love for the 2nd time...it means more because you know what you could lose. You know the risks and you know the mistakes you made before so you learn and you grow and the 2nd time is...different...but in so many ways...better. I'm really blessed.
I have a really great boyfriend who really cares for me. I'm so blessed. Alun is a source of love, laughter, joy, challenge (he doesnt accept "I cant" as an excuse and pushes me to my limits at times) and romance. Jon was romantic to make up for the lack of...other things...Alun is romantic just because he loves me. Its incredible and free-ing and I couldn't be more blessed if I tried.
Thank you God. Thank you so much.
I have great friends. I read somewhere that friends are the family you choose for yourself. In tough times with my own family - especially with Jay and Bec...I wonder - would I have chosen them for myself I could? And I'm not going to answer that today while I'm down. Instead, I'll tell you that the friends I HAVE chosen for myself - are amazing.
I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, I'm not injured, blind, deaf or mute (can you imagine me not being able to TALK???) and I'm not suffering a horrible life-threatening disease.
I dont have herpes :) or crabs :)
There is so much to be thankful for.
I'm off to get dressed and meet Terry (another guy off the same dating site who became a good friend) and his girlfriend at the Art Gallery.
Let's see what today holds, eh?
Feeling slightly better after not having to go into work, Janet xx
It's 8:53am on Tuesday morning.
Here's the update so far:
* I saw my GP yesterday, cried my heart out and she gave me another sick note for another week. Dr D held my hand in her tiny one and said "Janet if I need to write you one for every week for the rest of the year until you're smiling again, I will do it. If anyone at work has questions, get them to give me a call. I fully support you"
So I'm off for another week.
When that sick note touched my hand, I exhaled for the first time all day.
Instead of complaining today, I thought I'd remind myself of the huge blessings I have. Wanna hear?
(get comfy, this could be awhile)
On Monday night, Alun was excited. He and I stayed at Mom's apartment - which weirdly, Alun loves. He thinks it's 'cosy' and always wants to spend time here rather than Darren's mansion. Weird boy. Anyway, He said "I have a surprise for you!" and did a happy dance.
I dont know if I've mentioned it before, but Alun is ALWAYS happy. Even when he's stressed, he has a happiness about him.
So, Alun grabbed about 3 mysterious bags along with my hand, and we set off. We ended up at my favourite park right by the Claisebrook Inlet. The City has spent millions making the park INCREDIBLE. The inlet is like a culdesac (sp?) of water with the most breath-taking houses built right around it and leading back to the river. It looks like a modern-day Venice and is one of my favourite places in the world to go to.
We didnt sit at our usual table in the park, though. Alun had other ideas and kept smiling at me and squeezing my hand in excitement. We went past the park and followed the 'keep fit' pathway to a huge hill. Up we went and Alun laid out a picnic blanket, red wine and gorgeous food he'd put into little containers. He also took out a laptop and a dvd that had "for Janet" and little 'x's on it.
We ate dinner while Alun played my favourite songs through the laptop and it was really beautiful. The sun went down and we watched people jogging/walking/cycling and just...talked. It was lovely.
When the sun went down, Alun took my hand. I frowned in question and he laughed and said "no Janet, no ring or proposal today - that's later when I afford the ring I really want for you. Tonight instead...I wanted to make up for being apart from you on Australia day"
I waited for more.
"Well, we were apart and you said you couldn't see the fireworks from your balcony. So, I set up my video camera on the ironing board at home and taped the fireworks on tv. I had to sit in silence for half an hour! hahahhaa! I taped it for you and thought we could watch them here - over the river - together"
And in went the dvd...and the fireworks show over the river while Alun cuddled me from behind and smiled every time I said "woah!" or "sooo pretty!" or "Alun! Look! How nice is that one???" and I had the best night I've had in a long time.
Along with that came some realisations. Some nice ones.
I thought after Jonathan that no one would ever love me again. Then I got hopeful and thought maybe someone WOULD but that I would never again find someone romantic. Its odd when you break up with someone because if you loved them alot, you find yourself wanting a replica of them instead of someone new.
And that's what Alun is - someone NEW.
What I realise is, there are 2nd chances in love, as well as in other things.
I think when you are in love for the 2nd time...it means more because you know what you could lose. You know the risks and you know the mistakes you made before so you learn and you grow and the 2nd time is...different...but in so many ways...better. I'm really blessed.
I have a really great boyfriend who really cares for me. I'm so blessed. Alun is a source of love, laughter, joy, challenge (he doesnt accept "I cant" as an excuse and pushes me to my limits at times) and romance. Jon was romantic to make up for the lack of...other things...Alun is romantic just because he loves me. Its incredible and free-ing and I couldn't be more blessed if I tried.
Thank you God. Thank you so much.
I have great friends. I read somewhere that friends are the family you choose for yourself. In tough times with my own family - especially with Jay and Bec...I wonder - would I have chosen them for myself I could? And I'm not going to answer that today while I'm down. Instead, I'll tell you that the friends I HAVE chosen for myself - are amazing.
I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, I'm not injured, blind, deaf or mute (can you imagine me not being able to TALK???) and I'm not suffering a horrible life-threatening disease.
I dont have herpes :) or crabs :)
There is so much to be thankful for.
I'm off to get dressed and meet Terry (another guy off the same dating site who became a good friend) and his girlfriend at the Art Gallery.
Let's see what today holds, eh?
Feeling slightly better after not having to go into work, Janet xx
OMG made me laugh and cry, the people in work thought I was a complete crank
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