God makes beauty from ashes

I've spent 36 years of my life wondering who my Father is. My Mom gets very cagey about this and whenever I've asked over the years, walls go up. Mom gets angry and defensive and I end up feeling like I'm hitting my head against a brick wall. Last month, on a good friend's recommendation to try a special US 'Search' website...I found the man on my Birth Certificate. I looked at his picture for a long, long time. I didn't have any of his features. He was a burly, white, American man...a little on the chubby side with blue eyes and a kind smile. He looked to be in his early 60's. So where did I get black skin and afro hair from? Mom has light, creamy coffee-coloured skin and poker-straight, long black hair. We only get one chance at opportunities like this...so I wrote and re-wrote a letter to this man. This man listed as my Father on my birth certificate. I re-drafted what seemed like a hundred times. I held the addressed, stamped envelope close...

There is something really special about food. It brings people together. I think my happiest memories with my family or my beloved friends feature food somehow. There is something deeply comforting and heart-warming about getting together to share a meal. Whenever I'd stay over at Gracie's, her loud, shouty, expressive Italian family would make me smile. They would make these incredibly grand hand gestures and shout at each other throughout the whole meal, but through it all and in it all was love. In my own family; whenever I think of my Dad, I think of the times we've laughed together over a 'late night pie'. Whenever I visit Mom, she wants to feed me. It doesn't matter what time of day it is - it could be 2:00am in the morning...Mom will offer food of some kind. "Want some beef?" I can hear her wonderful voice in my head right now with that memory. I've piled on 30 kilos that I really don't need - but no matter how BIG I am, Mom alwa...

Hey, I have nothing to do at work. I've re-filled the printers with paper, tidied the stationery cupboard, loaded the dishwasher, tidied the kitchen and both meeting rooms are being used, or I would have tidied them, too. I've checked work emails and responded to everything - which left me with an hour to go and nothing to do. I've asked everyone on the Admin team if they have work for me - nothing they can pass on. So to waste time, I looked up on the Internet what Christians thought of Divorce and ReMarriage. Can anyone say "can of worms"? Seriously. I think I looked up this topic because I wanted to know what God thinks . I love my engagement ring from Alun, it's beautiful and sparkles and is just what I've always dreamed of...but sometimes I see it twinkling away on my ring finger and I wonder what God thinks of it. Does He hate it? From what I've read of the Bible...I'm in sin. I'm an adulterer and my only choices are to retu...

I lost my phone on a bus somewhere a few days ago (aargh!!!) and had to start over again. Although I did go to the Vodaphone store and ask to keep my existing number (which would have made things sooooo much easier) when the helpful Salesman looked up my number 'on the system' and asked for my name, he then nodded slowly, sucked in his breath and said "sorry...you're not authorised to make any changes to that account, it was opened with someone else's details" And I remembered that 5 years ago, Jonathan got the sim for me because I was spending the day with friends out on a boat and Jon wanted to stay in the city and 'check out the Apple Mac store' instead. I explained that we were now divorced and how much it would help to keep my existing number, but to no avail. So, *sigh* I've had the annoying task of calling Doctors, Centrelink, the people I pay bills to, Bank of Queensland (who I'm paying off my Apple laptop loan to), Medicare, Univ...

First of all, let me tell you he drives me crazy. He drives me freakin' nuts! He takes my frayed nerves and joyfully shakes them with all his might at the worst of times. But he always does it with a 'cheeky chappy' grin. So I cant stay mad for long. We fight sometimes. We get on each other's nerves. We have times where we shake our heads at each other and think "omg you are such an idiot"...our relationship isnt perfect. But we have more times where we laugh until our tummies hurt. We dance together in the kitchen. We always cuddle on the sofa every evening. We change positions, but we're always entwined somehow. We hold hands. We get each other's sense of humour and like the same songs/bands. We stay in contact with each other and talk throughout the day every day. It's not stifling or clingy - it's brief but really nice because we're connected. I'd say our relationship is 40% shared joy/happiness 5% challenging 10% arguing/...

I wanted to spend time remembering things that make me smile today. Here goes: I remember when I slept at the Ambrose's house in the room they made just for me. With floral bed covers (Mrs Ambrose gave them to me - they're in my cupboard crying out to be used again but I wanted to save them for a special occasion), wicker furniture and pretty pictures. I love that a family loved me enough to make a room for me. I remember getting off the plane from Darwin when I first saw Matt after 11 years. That was a HUGE weekend and I went through so much...to come home to my 4 best friends (Sonya, Jess, Caris and Gracie) waiting at the airport 'arrival gates' meant everything to me. I cried at the sight of them. I'd held in tears on the long 5-hour flight home but when I saw my best friends...I knew I could let out the heartache. That's one memory I'm so thankful to God for. I remember weighing 52 kilos and LOVING getting dressed every morning. To get up,...