Skip to main content

Hot potato

We used to play this game when we were little kids - "hot potato". We would use a rock or little bean bag - whatever - and pass it around to each other in a circle, pretending it was a hot potato so we'd have to pass it as quickly as possible.

Today...I am the hot potato.

And the company I've been temping for has dropped me as quickly as possible.

My 'last day' is to be this Friday and I'm to train/handover to "Anna" when she arrives at the end of this week.

First, I cried. I was in so much shock and I took it all to heart. How can I not take it personally? It personally affects me.

Then I was really angry. I have worked my butt off for you guys for almost a year and this is how you treat me?!? This is outrageous!

Me being me - I wanted comfort and confirmation.

It was interesting to me the people that wanted to be there for me and the people that wanted to drop me or pass me to someone else as quickly as they could - like a hot potato.

I messaged my friend Tarra "omg I just got asked to leave at the end of the week" and she messaged back "WTF?!? I'm coming now" and sat with me, holding my hand as I shook my head in shock and wondered what on earth had just happened.

Out of interest, I messaged "Layla" - the person who was my first boss in all of this - who I worked directly under almost a year ago to this date. She's said again and again over the year "I'm always here for you...message me anytime...blah blah blah" so I did. Today, I messaged "Hey, I've just been 'let go' by the company - I'm really upset". She didn't message back for ages. I suspect she was busy telling as many people as she could. When Layla finally messaged me back, she said "Don't take it personally, Good luck". As if I was some kind of high school graduate she had never met and was just being polite to.

I have told a few people in the office - most responding with warmth "I'm so sorry this happened to you, I will miss you, you deserve so much better" and a few responding with shrugs "oh well. you'll be 'right".

It's been interesting how people have acted towards me, knowing I'm 'tainted' and going to leave soon.

Myself - I'm in a bit of a quandry.

People I love most have recommended strongly that I leave today.

That will be a good "f*ck you" to the company who expect me to be nice and to work another week for them - including training up Anna who is my replacement - which would "really help us out".

PFFT.

It would be nice to blaze out and go home. Today is an especially bright, sunny, gorgeous Perth day and I'd love to sit out and just breathe. I can and will get another job. I know this. I'm good at what I do and I know how to get something better. God has seen me through this awful situation time and time again and I trust Him to see me through once again. I know I will be okay - it's just trying to decide how I'll see out the week that's really tough.

Because if I stay, I guess I'll be letting them win. I'll be letting this company that used me all year get their way right up until I leave. I feel like it's the same as letting a boy feel me up (against my will) and then paying my share of dinner afterwards.

...but then again if I stay, I'll be earning a week's more pay ($800 very useful dollars) and can use the time at work to seek out other jobs and set up interviews.

Should I stay and see this through strategically or should I demand a little more self respect for myself and just leave?

At the moment, it's 3pm here and I'm just fed up.

How much do I really need an extra week's pay?

Enough to sacrifice my pride?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

best $270.00 I've ever spent, honestly :)

Now that I've written that, I can remember other things I've loved spending HUGE amounts on: * the first time I got my hair chemically straightened :) * when I bought Jon a "year's pass" to the movies - he loved that gift more than anything else I've ever given him * any time I give Mom 'board money' because she's always so grateful and seeing her smile is a blessing anyway *sigh* back to the point... ...today I'm writing to you from a Travelodge Hotel Room. I know...not the most amazing Hotel - but you wouldnt believe how nice my room is. It's a "deluxe suite" and is big, comfortable, pretty and best of all *big smile* it's airconditioned!!! OH YEAH!!! In this horrid, dry and yet super humid Perth heat...being able to sleep to the hum of a working and LOVELY air conditioner is definitely worth the money I've paid. Here's what lead to this: My anxiety began with coming home to find the carpet pulled up, m...

and then, we move on...

Sometimes moving on can be so hard. I remember last year when I got "released" from hospital. The fear of leaving that safe trauma ward was awful. I hated thinking "oh God...now I'll be on my own and I still cant walk"...but you know what? we move on. We move on from petty fights with friends, from stupid family things, from broken hearts and crap days and we hope for better things. Im blessed because I'm experiencing those 'better things' right now, actually. Think about it, Im at work (so Im thankful for a job), I have the world's most amazing people as my friends (seriously, all my friends are worth their weight in gold) I have a safe home, lots of food and money... and I have an amazing boyfriend. Alun met up with me yesterday at the Royal on a sunny, warm Perth day. He had something in a huge shopping bag and held it out to me with an excited grin "OMG Janet - open it, you're gonna LOVE it!" and the smile on his face r...

10...and then 5 :)

Yeah I can tell Im getting better because even though things are tough right now and Im sad and a bit fed up and weary...I still have hope :) I cant help it, it's who I am. I got an email from "Sandy" today. I really care about her and I look up to her and will probably read her email again when im less tired from a long day and it will make more sense...but for now, what I think she was trying to say to me was to take a bit more ownership of my life and to stop asking God to fix it all...or something like that...and I want you to know, Sandy - Im taking ownership of it and doing it ALL myself...but I believe in God and I believe that he hears me and so Im taking EVERYTHING to Him and just asking for some direction on this. I'll email you personally about about that another day. Thanks for always being there for me. I keep trying and failing and falling, then getting excited about something new and getting back up. Im on a very strange path just now and although...