God makes beauty from ashes

Yep. Im a year older. I have actually had a really great birthday and got really spoiled and loved and cherished and blessed. Father God you are so good to me. Thank you. I have just now read all my facebook posts for my birthday and I feel awed by the sheer amount of people who love me. Im floored by it, blessed by it and touched beyond belief by it. WOW. I spent the evening with my besties at Sizzler and loved it. It was a 'quiet' birthday, but one full of love. Awesome. So right now I'm looking at myself and wondering what's next. Where do I go from here? A year ago my life was SO DIFFERENT. So much can change in a year. Right now...NOTHING in my life is the same. I am not even CLOSE to being the person I used to be. Not even close. *sighs* tonight...I've got 'boyce avenue' on in the background, I have my fingers ready at these familiar keys and I'm taking time to look back over my life and think "Right...what have I learned in this past ye...

Sooooooo tired right now. Today I had my 'aptitude' test at the hospital - 5 1/2 hours, ehhhh? it was a long day but the Doctor testing me was really patient and I think if I wasnt so worried about my poor brain, I would have enjoyed the tests cos I cant help it, i like a good challenge! The tiny Janet in me had her boxing gloves on and was PUMPED for what was ahead. I got to do writing, drawing, explaining, making puzzles, colouring in, doing things on a computer...a wide range of things. I could see for myself where my strengths and weaknesses were so it was an eye opener. The Doctors said it was a way to test my brain and my thinking and my problem solving abilities (which i learnt today are REALLY BAD and need ALOT of improvement) and once they get the results together, they will call me in and let me know how I 'rate' and what my brain's doing. Im very aware that I was a bit of a nutcase BEFORE the accident so I dont know really how this will compare to the...

Im at another crossroads. Im starting to think life is made up of them, you know. I spoke to a friend recently who thinks life is made up of lines. We are each lines...criss crossing and linking and sometimes running alongside one another. Sometimes we 'cross' each other's paths in lines and sometimes the lines are crazy. Sometimes lines in our lives can jump the page and be off somewhere we didnt even think of or could ever dream of. I know today that I miss Jon. I can be busy and hectic and feeling on top of the world, but nights like tonight when the temperature drops and my feet are cold...I miss him. I miss that Jon would always rub my feet for me or turn on the hairdryer and make the bedcovers warm...or get my hot water bottle...or even just smile at me and say "awww" and everything...EVERYTHING would seem so much better. How did he do that? I dont know and I miss it. I really do. Im dating like a crazy person right now...trying to fill the HUGE hole...