Sooooooo tired right now.
Today I had my 'aptitude' test at the hospital - 5 1/2 hours, ehhhh? it was a long day but the Doctor testing me was really patient and I think if I wasnt so worried about my poor brain, I would have enjoyed the tests cos I cant help it, i like a good challenge! The tiny Janet in me had her boxing gloves on and was PUMPED for what was ahead. I got to do writing, drawing, explaining, making puzzles, colouring in, doing things on a computer...a wide range of things. I could see for myself where my strengths and weaknesses were so it was an eye opener. The Doctors said it was a way to test my brain and my thinking and my problem solving abilities (which i learnt today are REALLY BAD and need ALOT of improvement) and once they get the results together, they will call me in and let me know how I 'rate' and what my brain's doing.
Im very aware that I was a bit of a nutcase BEFORE the accident so I dont know really how this will compare to the 'me that used to be'...I guess I'll just wait and see.
Not a really long blog today because im mentally exhausted (but my body's not tired at all - grr) but I wanted to quickly update you on stuff so you know where I am. Then at least ONE of us will know where I am.
Worries:
This dating thing is taking over my life. I didnt realise before how obsessive I can be about things. I think if I like something, I like it with ALL my heart until it's done and Im bored with it. There is a bit on ppl's profiles where it says "describe your perfect partner/what are you looking for"??? on these dating websites and it hit me HARD today while I was doing the dishes (which are still unfinished in the sink right now...I'd better get back to them!)...I want...Jonathan. I was describing my 'perfect man' and it was HIM. I dont know how I'll ever get over Jon. Im trying my best but Im failing and my heart breaks over and over. I know what I've lost because as Im dating, every guy is falling short.
I need to tell Justin that the spark isnt there before its too late. I dont want to sound concieted but he's really into me and I just dont feel the same. He came by last night just to hug me because I was worried about the tests today...and that was really sweet...but Im not falling for him and worried he's falling for me so I have to talk with him about this before he gets hurt.
Its my birthday on Monday and its my first one without Jonathan. I dont want to face it without him.
Okay, enough moaning! Here are my blessings:
I love my job and look forward to seeing everyone every day. Sue is back from Melbourne and I didnt realise I missed her so much. I really am blessed to work with such great people every day. Laura and Mohini are becoming really close friends and I love Samantha to bits, too! She is such a ray of sunshine and Im looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. My actual JOB is getting easier, too. I dont know...feels more 'familiar' the 2nd time around I guess. I can sit at my desk and take calls with confidence, and this Im thankful to God for.
A NEW Irish guy is texting me and he sounds really nice. Phelim. That's a weird name, hey? I'll update you on that one. I have decided I love Irish guys! The accents are SO HOT!!!
My besties are going all out to celebrate my birthday with me so even though Jon is going to be missing, I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who love me and want to make the effort to celebrate with me.
BEC CALLED :D this is my FAVOURITE news today. She called and we talked and there was that hint of things being okay again. She and Jay are coming to my birthday dinner on Sunday. I was so happy that Bec called, it meant the world to me. I really love my sister in law and I pray we can be close again soon. I will do everything I can to love Bec. I leave the rest up to God. As we were saying goodbye I asked "Bec?" and she warily said "yeah?" and I said "Im so glad you called. I love you, you know"...I think she said "okay then. see you" or something like that...but I could hear a smile in her voice so maybe its a foot in the door? We'll see.
Right...Im off to finish the dishes and watch TV.
Peace out, bloggers...let's see what tomorrow brings xx
Today I had my 'aptitude' test at the hospital - 5 1/2 hours, ehhhh? it was a long day but the Doctor testing me was really patient and I think if I wasnt so worried about my poor brain, I would have enjoyed the tests cos I cant help it, i like a good challenge! The tiny Janet in me had her boxing gloves on and was PUMPED for what was ahead. I got to do writing, drawing, explaining, making puzzles, colouring in, doing things on a computer...a wide range of things. I could see for myself where my strengths and weaknesses were so it was an eye opener. The Doctors said it was a way to test my brain and my thinking and my problem solving abilities (which i learnt today are REALLY BAD and need ALOT of improvement) and once they get the results together, they will call me in and let me know how I 'rate' and what my brain's doing.
Im very aware that I was a bit of a nutcase BEFORE the accident so I dont know really how this will compare to the 'me that used to be'...I guess I'll just wait and see.
Not a really long blog today because im mentally exhausted (but my body's not tired at all - grr) but I wanted to quickly update you on stuff so you know where I am. Then at least ONE of us will know where I am.
Worries:
This dating thing is taking over my life. I didnt realise before how obsessive I can be about things. I think if I like something, I like it with ALL my heart until it's done and Im bored with it. There is a bit on ppl's profiles where it says "describe your perfect partner/what are you looking for"??? on these dating websites and it hit me HARD today while I was doing the dishes (which are still unfinished in the sink right now...I'd better get back to them!)...I want...Jonathan. I was describing my 'perfect man' and it was HIM. I dont know how I'll ever get over Jon. Im trying my best but Im failing and my heart breaks over and over. I know what I've lost because as Im dating, every guy is falling short.
I need to tell Justin that the spark isnt there before its too late. I dont want to sound concieted but he's really into me and I just dont feel the same. He came by last night just to hug me because I was worried about the tests today...and that was really sweet...but Im not falling for him and worried he's falling for me so I have to talk with him about this before he gets hurt.
Its my birthday on Monday and its my first one without Jonathan. I dont want to face it without him.
Okay, enough moaning! Here are my blessings:
I love my job and look forward to seeing everyone every day. Sue is back from Melbourne and I didnt realise I missed her so much. I really am blessed to work with such great people every day. Laura and Mohini are becoming really close friends and I love Samantha to bits, too! She is such a ray of sunshine and Im looking forward to seeing her tomorrow. My actual JOB is getting easier, too. I dont know...feels more 'familiar' the 2nd time around I guess. I can sit at my desk and take calls with confidence, and this Im thankful to God for.
A NEW Irish guy is texting me and he sounds really nice. Phelim. That's a weird name, hey? I'll update you on that one. I have decided I love Irish guys! The accents are SO HOT!!!
My besties are going all out to celebrate my birthday with me so even though Jon is going to be missing, I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who love me and want to make the effort to celebrate with me.
BEC CALLED :D this is my FAVOURITE news today. She called and we talked and there was that hint of things being okay again. She and Jay are coming to my birthday dinner on Sunday. I was so happy that Bec called, it meant the world to me. I really love my sister in law and I pray we can be close again soon. I will do everything I can to love Bec. I leave the rest up to God. As we were saying goodbye I asked "Bec?" and she warily said "yeah?" and I said "Im so glad you called. I love you, you know"...I think she said "okay then. see you" or something like that...but I could hear a smile in her voice so maybe its a foot in the door? We'll see.
Right...Im off to finish the dishes and watch TV.
Peace out, bloggers...let's see what tomorrow brings xx
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