God makes beauty from ashes

Father God, Its been awhile. I have you on my heart and in my life but I havent talked to you lately because I feel so far from you. Im having so much fun these days...that Im scared if I DO talk to you, you'll tell me to "stop" and right now, I dont want to. Im having a great time, God. I imagine you as a parent at a day's end calling their little ones in from playing...and Im having too much fun playing right now and want to plead "just 5 more minutes, Dad? ok?" I love you, Lord God. You know that, right? I find it hard to pray right now. I close my eyes and try to talk to you, but nothing happens. I get distracted by the wind, the rain, the sunshine, the voices of people walking past outside...anything and everything seems louder right now than your gentle and quiet voice...so I thought I'd blog instead...and hope you are online right now. (Do you even USE a computer, God? I bet you do. I bet it's an apple and I bet your ipod songlist is AMA...

...thats what Gary was. There he was in the back of the cafe, wearing the red 'tripleJ' cap and tanned long sleeve shirt that he texted me to look out for. He was bent over Uni books, cap down and shoulders slumped and I thought to myself "if this guy is as good looking as I think he's gonna be...there is going to be trouble" I took a deep breath and put my hand out while softly asking "Gary? is that you? Hi...Im Janet" He looked up and had the biggest brown eyes I had ever seen. He looked like Disney had drawn him...or some Chinese Anime' person - because they draw eyes MUCH TOO BIG for a person's head...well, they were Gary's eyes. Warm, brown, huge and had flecks of gold in them. Over the next 2 hours (that passed by in seconds because we had so much fun)...I noticed his eyes twinkled whenever he laughed (which was a lot) and he has cute little wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. He also has straight, even teeth and a personality ...

You'd never guess I was talking about my shower, would you? But yeah...I am. I really am. I had a long day at work today, made a fool of myself several times on Mike's poor answering machine (I swear to God if that boy ever calls me again, he's obviously the one meant for me because I wouldnt call me back, I crossed over to "crazy stalker" level today. Wish I could take it back), and had the phonecall of a lifetime with Jon. After I hung up from the phone-call that changed my life - I went to shower. Stripping off not just my clothes, but guilt, shame, worry and fear with my tatty old things and I stepped into the shower, letting the water...and the memories...slide right off me. The THING is...the shower didn't behave very well. It never bloody does. I think the water system favours every other flat in this building so that whenever someone uses their taps or flushes the toilet, Mom's shower goes from a gorgeous warm/hot temperature to FREEZING with...