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Blessed

Do you ever have something so lovely and so wonderful happen that for days and days you think about it and just say "wow" to yourself?


I'm like that at the moment with this last visit with Alun's parents.


The entire week has been a blessing. We've not argued or fought and everyone's been on their best behaviour. It has been a peaceful week and I couldn't be more thankful.


Thank you, Father God.


It's been 7 days of everyone being kind, forgiving, appreciative and joyful. I have appreciated Mr and Mrs Thomases efforts and have responded by being more and more relaxed and more and more myself. It has been...wonderful. We've laughed together, joked, enjoyed each other's company and had a really great week.


On the 2nd day they were here, Alun and I had afternoon tea with the Thomases. We stayed on for drinks at the Pub that is right next to their hotel (Can I say how much I love that they're staying in a hotel this time???) and as evening came, Alun and I prepared to leave. Being cheeky, Alun said "Shall Janet and I walk you both home?". We all laughed. We stepped outside and Mr Thomas linked his arm through mine. "C'mon Janet, we'll walk ahead and let those two catch up". He winked and gestured behind us at Alun and his Mom. It was lovely.


It has felt weird and a part of me that is still cautious and aching from the last few visits finds this very difficult, but I've called Alun's parents "Mum and Dad" for the whole visit. Mr Thomas especially seems to like this and his eyes twinkle when he responds.


Yesterday we said goodbye.


Alun's parents, Alun and I walked to the hospital before Alun started his shift. We all sat awkwardly around a café table near the entrance to Al's Trauma Ward. The sadness was palpable - like a sheer blanket over us all. I felt sad for Alun's parents having to say goodbye to their son and sad for Alun because even though he pretends it doesn't matter, I know he's sad to see them go. Eventually, Alun stood up, checked his watch and said "Well...I'd best get going".


Mrs Thomas was swallowing hard and trying not to cry. Mr Thomas cleared his throat painfully. I stood back to let them hug. Alun is 39 years old - the same as me - but in that moment, seeing him in his parent's arms, I could imagine him at 3 or 4 years old. A little boy.


The Trauma doors opened and Alun walked away briskly. Mr and Mrs Thomas stood, staring forlornly at the doors for a long time. I didn't want to rush them and wanted to let them be sad for as long as they wanted...so I just waited quietly beside them.


I honestly wanted to go, too. After a long while, Mrs Thomas turned and patted my arm gently "you don't have to stay, I know you are not well (I am fighting tonsillitis just now) so you can go now if you want to, as well" she said.


I saw the sadness in her eyes and I decided to stay a little longer just to make sure they were both ok.


We caught a free 'inner city' Cat Bus to a Bar right by the river. The Thomases go every time they visit and always comment on how much they love it. I made small talk and we all sipped at our drinks. Mr and Mrs Thomas were obviously sad about saying goodbye to Alun. I asked them about 'home' and hoped that I was getting them to look forward to seeing friends again rather than think about going away from their son.


We finished our drinks and I couldn't bear the sadness any more. It was also harder to talk with the Thomases when their minds and hearts were elsewhere and in the obvious vacancy of Alun. I said I had to go home and rest and asked if they would be okay. They both said they would be fine.


Mr and Mrs Thomas came back into the city with me and walked me to the bus stop. I don't like goodbyes, so was praying silently that the bus wouldn't be long.


Thankfully, it was only a few minutes before the bus home pulled along the kerb.


Mrs Thomas hugged me, tears streaming down her face. "Goodbye lovely girl" she said into my ear. "Alun is in good hands and I will look after him" I said into hers. I pulled away and Mrs Thomas was crying hard. I felt so sad for her. This must be so hard on her.


Mr Thomas hugged me very tightly and for a long time. I was starting to worry I'd miss my bus.


It was suddenly imperative that I catch this bus as quickly as possible.


"You're a good girl, Janet" Mr Thomas said, tears in his eyes. He blinked quickly to clear them but it didn't work.


I didn't realise how dear his face had become to me.


"I have no sense of direction" I joked.


We both laughed. The Thomases have seen first hand how rubbish I am with sense of direction.


"But I know how to look after Alun" I added "So you can go home knowing he is loved and that I will do everything I can to make him happy"


Mr and Mrs Thomas cried and both hugged me.


A Thomas group hug.


I would never have imaged I would write that ^^. NOT EVER.


I was now the last person wanting to catch the bus.


I swallowed the lump in my throat.

Why was this so hard?


We all shuffled closer to the bus doors.


"Off you go!" Mr Thomas said - and waved at the Bus driver, who smiled and waved back.


I pressed my 'Smartrider' to the access pad and it beeped it's response. I chose a seat in the thankfully half-empty bus and sat close the window.


As the bus pulled past Mr and Mrs Thomas, they were both crying and smiling and waving madly.


I don't know why - it was daggy - but I blew kisses from my seat on the bus and waved, too.


4 years ago...3 years ago...2 years ago...I would NEVER have thought the above ^^ would have ever happened. Not ever.


I cried on the way home.


I praised God and said "thank you" quietly to Him over and over again.


And last night? I had the most restful, peaceful, lovely sleep I've had in a really, really long time.







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