I get scared to admit "I'm okay" because I'm convinced 'fate' is a person who overhears me and says "Oh you are, are you?" and decides to ensure I'm NOT okay by throwing difficult trials at me or hitting me up with some horrible tragedy.
But yesterday...I was okay.
I didn't go to Church which I feel really bad about...but instead I slept in - for hours and hours - wrapped up in Alun's arms. I loved it. I loved feeling Alun's soft breath on my cheek and smiled hearing his soft snores. Everything Alun does is so beautiful, God bless him. When I snore, I sound like a freight train. A horrible one. Haha. I think I drool, too.
Alun went off to work and I caught the bus to the Galleria and strolled. It was so nice. I was surrounded by people - but didn't have to interact with anyone.
Bliss.
I felt happy just browsing in stores and "imaginary shopping" in my head. Oh the clothes I bought. The new fancy bed and HUUUUGE TV in Myer, the expensive shoes in Novo and all the beautiful 'house things' in Target. I mentally spent hundreds of dollars in the Dymocks bookstore and mentally devoured all the cakes and donuts displayed in café windows. Mmm mmm.
Smiling away to myself, I heard someone call my name.
"Janet!"
I turned and saw my friends Mohini and Deeshal. They're honestly the cutest couple. Mohini is a little shorter than me and as thin as a rake. She has a beautiful face, big brown almond eyes, shiny dark hair and such a sweetness about her. Deeshal is sooo tall and lanky and geeky and I think they're both so wonderful.
"Hey you guys!" I responded by hugging them in turn.
We made polite small talk and smiled widely at each other the whole time.
Mohini and Deeshal were on their way home so the exchange was only short - but it was perfect.
My stomach rumbled and I decided to 'treat myself' to KFC chicken nuggets and chips. The nuggets tasted the way I imagine eating Styrofoam cups would taste. So horrible. I could only manage 3 of them. The chips, however - OMG so good! Lightly seasoned with spices and salt, and cooked really well so that they were crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside.
Delicious.
While I was munching away and taking in one of my favourite activities - "people watching", I saw a lady that looked a lot like my friend, Sue. It reminded me that I'd promised to do brunch with Sue and made me miss her. So, I texted to ask if she wanted coffee with me...and 10 minutes later, we were hugging each other 'hello' and heading to the nearest café.
It was wonderful to see Sue. I could see on her beautiful face that she'd been through a really hard time of late. I just wanted to wrap her in cotton wool and keep her safe. We chatted easily and sipped our hot chocolates and as we talked, I could feel any tension in my body melting away. Sue has a sweet, calming presence and is such a great sounding board for my randomness. We talked and laughed and I felt such a sense of peacefulness and well-being - just by sitting with a dear friend and sharing a hot drink. Sue has no idea how lovely she is and that makes her really beautiful. She has a soft voice and an air about her that is really dignified and lady-like. Even though she's been through a really rough time of late, she still walks with a straight back and her head up. She's very refined and someone I look up to a lot. I enjoyed every minute of talking with my friend. Just simply sitting close to one another and really talking...it was wonderful.
Isn't it weird that such a simple thing could bring such joy?
When we parted, Sue left to go and be a blessing to someone else and I continued my virtual bankruptcy in different stores.
I eventually headed back to mine and Alun's beautiful house and thanked God I have a home to go to - especially in this particularly frosty Perth winter. I put my comfortable Pj's on and watched old movies while colouring in and the whole time, I felt at such peace and happiness.
It was such a wonderful relief from being scared and sad.
Alun came home late that night from work but I was already tucked up in bed. I could hear his footsteps up and down the hallway and could picture in my mind what he was doing. First, Alun would be stood by the dining table emptying his pockets. He would be putting leftover panadol, Nursing scissors and tape and other odd bits and bobs from the hospital onto the table. Then, his keys and his wallet. Alun would pause, and then line everything up perfectly. He'd then walk to the front room and change out of his dark blue scrubs into long tracksuit pants and a nice shirt - with a collar and buttons. Even Alun's "casual wear" is really nice. Everything would match - even down the clean socks he'd pull on.
I could hear Al's feet padding quietly toward the bedroom door, Alun turning the knob gently and quietly coming in to see me. I pretended to be asleep (I always do) because I love how gently Alun kisses me so that he 'doesn't wake me'.
"Night, Gorg. Love you" He whispered into my ear and planted a soft kiss on my cheek.
Love you, too. You have no idea.
Alun gently closed the door behind him as he left and crept away silently.
He'd make an excellent Ninja if he was ever inclined :)
I snuggled down into luxurious weight and comfort of our two doonas and inhaled the wonderful scent of freshly laundered sheets. I felt so warm, so safe and so loved.
Thank you, Father God.
Thank you for good friends, for an amazing husband, for a roof over our heads. Thank you for food in the fridge and cupboards and money in our bank accounts. Thank you that while it's frosty and dark outside, Alun and I are so safe and warm inside.
I had a really good day xx
But yesterday...I was okay.
I didn't go to Church which I feel really bad about...but instead I slept in - for hours and hours - wrapped up in Alun's arms. I loved it. I loved feeling Alun's soft breath on my cheek and smiled hearing his soft snores. Everything Alun does is so beautiful, God bless him. When I snore, I sound like a freight train. A horrible one. Haha. I think I drool, too.
Alun went off to work and I caught the bus to the Galleria and strolled. It was so nice. I was surrounded by people - but didn't have to interact with anyone.
Bliss.
I felt happy just browsing in stores and "imaginary shopping" in my head. Oh the clothes I bought. The new fancy bed and HUUUUGE TV in Myer, the expensive shoes in Novo and all the beautiful 'house things' in Target. I mentally spent hundreds of dollars in the Dymocks bookstore and mentally devoured all the cakes and donuts displayed in café windows. Mmm mmm.
Smiling away to myself, I heard someone call my name.
"Janet!"
I turned and saw my friends Mohini and Deeshal. They're honestly the cutest couple. Mohini is a little shorter than me and as thin as a rake. She has a beautiful face, big brown almond eyes, shiny dark hair and such a sweetness about her. Deeshal is sooo tall and lanky and geeky and I think they're both so wonderful.
"Hey you guys!" I responded by hugging them in turn.
We made polite small talk and smiled widely at each other the whole time.
Mohini and Deeshal were on their way home so the exchange was only short - but it was perfect.
My stomach rumbled and I decided to 'treat myself' to KFC chicken nuggets and chips. The nuggets tasted the way I imagine eating Styrofoam cups would taste. So horrible. I could only manage 3 of them. The chips, however - OMG so good! Lightly seasoned with spices and salt, and cooked really well so that they were crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside.
Delicious.
While I was munching away and taking in one of my favourite activities - "people watching", I saw a lady that looked a lot like my friend, Sue. It reminded me that I'd promised to do brunch with Sue and made me miss her. So, I texted to ask if she wanted coffee with me...and 10 minutes later, we were hugging each other 'hello' and heading to the nearest café.
It was wonderful to see Sue. I could see on her beautiful face that she'd been through a really hard time of late. I just wanted to wrap her in cotton wool and keep her safe. We chatted easily and sipped our hot chocolates and as we talked, I could feel any tension in my body melting away. Sue has a sweet, calming presence and is such a great sounding board for my randomness. We talked and laughed and I felt such a sense of peacefulness and well-being - just by sitting with a dear friend and sharing a hot drink. Sue has no idea how lovely she is and that makes her really beautiful. She has a soft voice and an air about her that is really dignified and lady-like. Even though she's been through a really rough time of late, she still walks with a straight back and her head up. She's very refined and someone I look up to a lot. I enjoyed every minute of talking with my friend. Just simply sitting close to one another and really talking...it was wonderful.
Isn't it weird that such a simple thing could bring such joy?
When we parted, Sue left to go and be a blessing to someone else and I continued my virtual bankruptcy in different stores.
I eventually headed back to mine and Alun's beautiful house and thanked God I have a home to go to - especially in this particularly frosty Perth winter. I put my comfortable Pj's on and watched old movies while colouring in and the whole time, I felt at such peace and happiness.
It was such a wonderful relief from being scared and sad.
Alun came home late that night from work but I was already tucked up in bed. I could hear his footsteps up and down the hallway and could picture in my mind what he was doing. First, Alun would be stood by the dining table emptying his pockets. He would be putting leftover panadol, Nursing scissors and tape and other odd bits and bobs from the hospital onto the table. Then, his keys and his wallet. Alun would pause, and then line everything up perfectly. He'd then walk to the front room and change out of his dark blue scrubs into long tracksuit pants and a nice shirt - with a collar and buttons. Even Alun's "casual wear" is really nice. Everything would match - even down the clean socks he'd pull on.
I could hear Al's feet padding quietly toward the bedroom door, Alun turning the knob gently and quietly coming in to see me. I pretended to be asleep (I always do) because I love how gently Alun kisses me so that he 'doesn't wake me'.
"Night, Gorg. Love you" He whispered into my ear and planted a soft kiss on my cheek.
Love you, too. You have no idea.
Alun gently closed the door behind him as he left and crept away silently.
He'd make an excellent Ninja if he was ever inclined :)
I snuggled down into luxurious weight and comfort of our two doonas and inhaled the wonderful scent of freshly laundered sheets. I felt so warm, so safe and so loved.
Thank you, Father God.
Thank you for good friends, for an amazing husband, for a roof over our heads. Thank you for food in the fridge and cupboards and money in our bank accounts. Thank you that while it's frosty and dark outside, Alun and I are so safe and warm inside.
I had a really good day xx
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