God makes beauty from ashes

Eileen is a beautiful little old Lady back in Prescot UK who used to have me over "for tea" and would tell me stories about when she was a nurse. I loved her right away. I left England and didnt tell Eileen because I couldnt bear to see her disappointed in me. Today I sent her this: Dearest Eileen, Hello and how are you? I hope this letter finds you well. I miss you. …as you probably already know, Jonathan and I are divorced. It was 100% my fault and I know that. I wanted to talk with you about it at the time, I really did. I so wanted to call you or even just run to your house and cry on your shoulder but I was so ashamed that I hid. Please forgive me. Jonathan is a wonderful man and I still value his opinion over everyone else’s. We keep in contact regularly over the internet and have come to a point in our friendship that is respectful, happy and full of blessing. I am so fortunate and so grateful. If its okay with you, I'll 'backtrack' on what I...

So, Im dying to tell you guys about my week so far, you ready for some patented "Janet sillyness" or wot? Alrighty here goes: DAY 1: Okay, so im nervous...and you know what happens when im nervous, right? My brain departs my body and my mouth starts working on its own. Mental note for the future: mouth without brain DOES NOT WORK OUT WELL. I go into work which is a HUGE building, very posh with a posh reception (complete with doorman - woooooooooo!) and I am directed to the very top floor (oooohhhh!) to meet my new boss. A nice lady introduces herself as Lorraine and says I will be working for her as a secretary. I think to myself "okay, that's fine" and sit at my new desk. Which is brand new, huge and by a huge bay window overlooking the city. In short, IT ROCKS! then it all starts to change. A tall, old man who is very posh and refined and downright intimidating walks up to me, hands me a HUGE pile of work and says "have that done by 3-3:30 bec...

The microwave that Alun's boss donated to us did a very strange thing today - it started affirming who it was and what it's role was...really randomly. I think the power had cut out - so the microwave screen flashed; and the time Alun had programmed in when we first plugged it in went missing. All that was left was the two dots ":" that flash by themselves. I guess the Microwave got bored of this and decided instead to flash up "Microwave, 700 watts, super heating, super fast, amazing range of heat settings..." and ended with it's title (sorry, no idea what make or model it is and  I'm too lazy to get up and go have a look at it so I'll make one up, ok?) "Sanyo 2000". The MICROWAVE knows what it is and knows its purpose. How pathetic am I that I am jealous of the microwave??? So, here goes: (and...these arent in any 'correct' order so please just bear with me if it seems superficial until the end when I've obviously...

Right. It's 8:53am on Tuesday morning. Here's the update so far: * I saw my GP yesterday, cried my heart out and she gave me another sick note for another week. Dr D held my hand in her tiny one and said "Janet if I need to write you one for every week for the rest of the year until you're smiling again, I will do it. If anyone at work has questions, get them to give me a call. I fully support you" So I'm off for another week. When that sick note touched my hand, I exhaled for the first time all day. Instead of complaining today, I thought I'd remind myself of the huge blessings I have. Wanna hear? (get comfy, this could be awhile) On Monday night, Alun was excited. He and I stayed at Mom's apartment - which weirdly, Alun loves . He thinks it's 'cosy' and always wants to spend time here rather than Darren's mansion. Weird boy. Anyway, He said "I have a surprise for you!" and did a happy dance. I dont know if I...

Now that I've written that, I can remember other things I've loved spending HUGE amounts on: * the first time I got my hair chemically straightened :) * when I bought Jon a "year's pass" to the movies - he loved that gift more than anything else I've ever given him * any time I give Mom 'board money' because she's always so grateful and seeing her smile is a blessing anyway *sigh* back to the point... ...today I'm writing to you from a Travelodge Hotel Room. I know...not the most amazing Hotel - but you wouldnt believe how nice my room is. It's a "deluxe suite" and is big, comfortable, pretty and best of all *big smile* it's airconditioned!!! OH YEAH!!! In this horrid, dry and yet super humid Perth heat...being able to sleep to the hum of a working and LOVELY air conditioner is definitely worth the money I've paid. Here's what lead to this: My anxiety began with coming home to find the carpet pulled up, m...

I cant believe how stupid and pathetic this is going to sound...but getting dressed seems too hard to do today. I had plans for today...I really did: * head to the gym and walk on the treadmill for an hour * go to the library and post my weekly tasks in advance so I can have 2 weeks off work AND 2 weeks off studying * apply for a few 'data input' jobs online and just start getting my new updated CV out there * (sheepish now)...update my CV * Call "Anglicare" and make an appointment for counselling with them - I get 6 'free' appointments through work a year and Renae, the HR Manager at Diabetes WA emailed me a link and recommended I go see them while I'm struggling. She was really lovely and gentle about it in her email. I'm so blessed. * Call Louise Tottino - the psychologist I had a year ago after my accident. As I recall, she was practical and helpful and a great source of advice back then - I am really in need of some professional help...my...

Hi Jonathan, How are you? Im writing to you on my blog because whenever we have spoken over the last year and a half, we are both too full of emotion to think clearly and calmly. Im also writing to you on here because I can say -without any 'editing' or fear of saying the wrong thing - what I REALLY want to; because you'll actually never read this. Oh Jonno...we've gone from crying torrents of tears at the very beginning of this divorce...to shouting abuse and saying things we would have been SHOCKED to even think about years ago...to just sighing in defeat, to fighting more, to trying to go on in ignorance...to your email last week that was simply titled "Hi Little Miss". A new beginning. I read it a thousand times and wrote my reply very carefully. I kept it short, you know. A lot like the first email I ever sent to you. I was in Uni in Australia - a nervous 23 year old girl not knowing what the hell her life was going to be like...I saw your profil...

that's who I hope to be one day. Someone like Irene. I remember the first time I met Irene. She was in the Church kitchen and came out wiping her hands on an apron. She smiled at me and made me feel welcome right away. Irene and Becky Buchnor were the 2 names I remembered from meeting so many people at Church that day. Everyone was lovely and so friendly but Irene and Bec touched my heart especially. Irene had a way of making everyone and anyone feel like they were welcome and cared for. I remember Irene would always make me a card and write something uplifting and encouraging. I always got post from Irene when I moved back to Oz the first few times and whenever it was my birthday, a card and gift from Irene were always the first things I opened. Irene touched so many people's lives and poured herself out so selflessly for everyone around her. The world will be at a huge loss and Heaven will be partying. Im too upset to write anything else xx