Skip to main content

for those I love who've lost their mojo

Mojo.

I don't know how to describe it, but I think we all have  sense of what it means. To me, it's like your inner spark...the beautiful shiney part of your soul that is the best part of why you are who you are.

Mojo.

Sometimes, we can lose it.

Life throws some huge-ass waves at us and it knocks our confidence. It takes away that sense of "I can do anything" and it makes us worry we're just not enough.

That's who I'm writing today's blog for.

For you.

The beautiful girl who lost her mojo.

Firstly, I want to say that this isn't the end. This isn't how you will always be or how you will always feel.

Because things will get better. One of my favourite Bible verses is "This too shall pass" because I have experienced - as you will have - some pretty rotten things in life...but we survive them, don't we? We get through them somehow. I believe 100% that God carries us through them.We might come out battered, bruised and bent at odd angles at the end of the pain, loss, trauma, heartache, loneliness, rejection...whatever it is that broke us...but there is an end to it. I want you to know that. There will be an end to the suffering you're going through. You don't have your confidence now and you don't think much of yourself...but that will change.

You will be fearless again one day. I just know it.

Secondly, I want to tell you that you're loved...and you're not alone in this.

When confidence gets knocked, I don't know about you - but I start to question my worth in terms of how alone I am. I start to think "who even cares that I feel the way I feel?" and I start to believe - genuinely believe - that no one cares. That I'm alone. That there is something definitely wrong with me. I start having a go at myself.

If that's where you are right now, I want to assure you that even though it will feel like you really are alone, you aren't. There is someone on this earth that cares very much about you. That worries about you and loves you and wants to protect you from anything that could hurt you. In this case right now - it's me. Because you've touched my heart enough that I'm writing this blog for you.

You are not alone.
You matter so greatly, you have no idea.
There is nothing wrong with you.

Thirdly (is 'thirdly' even a word?), it's okay to feel the way you do.

I think we live in a society where it's not okay to say "actually, I feel like sh*t and I don't want to do anything but watch Netflix and eat an extraordinary amount of junk food". We feel like we can't ask for help. We think we need to do everything all the time with a giant smile on our faces.

It's okay to actually feel fed up.

It's okay to NOT want to be perfect 24/7. It's okay to want to shout "F*CK OFF!" - even at those who love you who probably don't deserve it. It's probably healthier to let some steam out than to bottle it all up and have some kind of nervous breakdown.

It's okay to just not know. To have everyone coming at you from all angels, wanting something from you - wanting answers - even to simple questions like "what shall we have for dinner?" and for you to say "I don't know". That is okay. It's okay to eat greasy take-out instead of a healthy meal. It's okay to sit next to the pile of laundry and not fold it but to instead sit there with your phone and scroll through things that you like. Stupid things.  It's okay to not do the housework and to just have a long, lovely nap instead. It's okay to not do the damn dishes. They won't wander off. You can do them another day.

What's most important here...is you.

You will get your confidence back. It's okay to doubt yourself. It's reasonable and completely 'normal' (what is normal these days?) to feel like you're the only one who's losing it and to think everyone else is going great guns. I am 41 years old now and you want to know a secret? I've discovered that no one is 100% confident - especially not the ones we think have it all in the bag. They're the most messed up of all.

If you've lost your confidence. If you've come to the brink and thought "f*ck it" and wanted to jump off that ledge...if you are afraid, lonely, tired, fed up, over it...exhausted...then that is okay. It's not nice, certainly. It sucks ass, yes it does. But it will end.

You will feel better from this. You will come out the other side and you will get that sense of "look at me go!" again. You can do anything. You can and you will.

It's going to get better.

Just hang in there until it does.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

10 days

 that's how long it took for my friend...let's call him "Adrian"...to open a letter from me. Adrian's had a rough time of late with 2 of his closest friends dying within months of each other. I wanted to send him some support and encouragement in the post so I picked a card with a load of cartoon acorns on the front. The card read "If I had an acorn for every time I thought of you, other people would say I had too many acorns!" then inside, the card said "And they'd be wrong!" It was so cute, even in the store as I read it, I knew I loved it and wanted to buy it for someone. I wrote about how I'd be there for Adrian any time he needed to talk and that he was loved and not alone. I posted it off with a happy smile and hoped it would bless him. I think it took about a week for the card to reach Adrian...but I didn't hear anything back from him for almost 3 weeks all up...because he was scared to open his card. Adrian's anxiety had...

Closing this blog and starting a new one, guys :)

This site is too old! I'm struggling to use it so I've created a brand new blog on "WordPress". here's the new link: https://wordpress.com/view/janetvdepression.wordpress.com So far, it's just a collection of my favourite blogs from THIS site transferred to it's new home...but from tomorrow onwards, I'll be adding new posts daily I think? Thank you for reading along with me all these years, you mean the world to me. Love you guys xx ps. If the blog link doesn't work, please email me at janethill0505@gmail.com so I don't lose your readership. Big hugs xx

I learnt to cook because my Mom left us

My parents have "been together" for 38 years. And I used "been together" very loosely because in all those years, about 28 of them has been incredibly rocky. My parents have screamed, shouted, threatened and hurt each other more than I thought anyone could. They've constantly split up and gotten back together. Every time they split up, we had to move house and I had to ferry my younger brother between two homes and make it seem like an adventure "Yay!Sleepover at Dad's!" so he could live a basically normal life. On one of their MANY break ups, my parents each got a new partner. Mom went out with this Dutch guy and to this day I don't know his name because I called him "Meathead". He was like a well-meaning ogre who rode a motorbike.  Anyway, when Mom starting "seeing" Meathead, she and I got into a huge fight about how she was never home (she wasn't) and Mom decided to leave us altogether. I was in my late teens so Jay w...