"I'm just giving you tough love because I care"
Well.
Care enough then, to shut your mouth. And keep it closed.
Thanks.
As you can see, I'm not a fan of 'tough love'. I think when you love someone - it shouldn't hurt. It shouldn't feel like someone is taking a jackhammer to your soul and battering it about while shouting "this will be good for you in the end"
Will it?
Because I think that's garbage.
I understand the concept of it. I do. It's when someone wants to stop being gentle with you and they want to tell you off and be rude, blunt and hurtful - and get away with it. The Bible says there is a time for everything. In the case of 'tough love', I can see that people would think there was a time for being stern with someone - a time to 'help' when it comes to a person 'snapping out' of something. I can see in extreme cases where everything else has been tried and has failed that a person might want to be blunt/rude out of sheer desperation. I can understand that.
But I still don't agree with it.
"Sorry but you smell awful - just giving you some tough love. Have a shower for God's sakes. Your odour makes my eyes water"
"You talk too much", "you're annoying", "you're too sickly sweet", "you're too much of a pushover", "toughen up, princess", "eat some concrete", "get over it"
"If you just did this/that/the other/lost weight...you'd be so much better/stronger/prettier"
How are these LOVING things to say?
Why isn't it called "blunt force advice" or "bloody hurtful recommendations" instead of "tough love"? Because that's how it feels to hear it - ESPECIALLY FROM SOMEONE YOU LOVE. It feels like getting slapped in the face. I suspect that people who like using tough love would probably think a slap in the face was actually a pretty good idea.
I think if you're going to be rude to someone - then at least own it.
"This is going to hurt to hear, but I think..."
"This won't be nice and I feel bad having to tell you, but..."
Don't hide behind "tough love" because it's not loving. Not one bit.
Well.
Care enough then, to shut your mouth. And keep it closed.
Thanks.
As you can see, I'm not a fan of 'tough love'. I think when you love someone - it shouldn't hurt. It shouldn't feel like someone is taking a jackhammer to your soul and battering it about while shouting "this will be good for you in the end"
Will it?
Because I think that's garbage.
I understand the concept of it. I do. It's when someone wants to stop being gentle with you and they want to tell you off and be rude, blunt and hurtful - and get away with it. The Bible says there is a time for everything. In the case of 'tough love', I can see that people would think there was a time for being stern with someone - a time to 'help' when it comes to a person 'snapping out' of something. I can see in extreme cases where everything else has been tried and has failed that a person might want to be blunt/rude out of sheer desperation. I can understand that.
But I still don't agree with it.
"Sorry but you smell awful - just giving you some tough love. Have a shower for God's sakes. Your odour makes my eyes water"
"You talk too much", "you're annoying", "you're too sickly sweet", "you're too much of a pushover", "toughen up, princess", "eat some concrete", "get over it"
"If you just did this/that/the other/lost weight...you'd be so much better/stronger/prettier"
How are these LOVING things to say?
Why isn't it called "blunt force advice" or "bloody hurtful recommendations" instead of "tough love"? Because that's how it feels to hear it - ESPECIALLY FROM SOMEONE YOU LOVE. It feels like getting slapped in the face. I suspect that people who like using tough love would probably think a slap in the face was actually a pretty good idea.
I think if you're going to be rude to someone - then at least own it.
"This is going to hurt to hear, but I think..."
"This won't be nice and I feel bad having to tell you, but..."
Don't hide behind "tough love" because it's not loving. Not one bit.
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