God makes beauty from ashes

I guess because I catch the train more, a lot of my blogs and facebook posts are "train-based" now. Haha. I love public transport here in Perth, it's actually not that bad. Anyway, this morning, I was on the train, trying to balance my gym bag and phone and hoping I could grip the hand rail fast enough as the train took off that I wouldn't topple over (yeah, I misjudged yesterday and ended up in a stranger's lap. Praise God, he thought it was funny and gave me a wink when I apologised). When I looked up, I had to do a double-take on the train because I thought Jonathan was stood in front of me, reading a book. Instant feeling of warmth, happiness, nostalgia and then sadness when I looked at this guy. This man on the train. Mostly fondness. I had to ball my hands into fists and then push them out into open hands over and over to give myself something to do so that I wouldn't rush up to this man and hug him. Hey there , Jon -  I've really missed you!...

Yep, I'm really worried. I've been reading a book "T he Perfect Girlfriend " about a really crazy lady who is obsessed with marrying a guy she used to date. She is completely psycho. My concern is how much I identify with her. I don't understand when she's "over the top" (she steals things, copies people's house keys and stays in their homes when they're away...she obsesses about a man she's not even sure she likes and she is obsessed with living the life of a girl who bullied her in highschool - I don't get why she would want to be in that girl's life - I'd want to be as far away/as different from her as possible) but I understand and can relate to other things. For instance: The character in the book is very passionate. She gets angry easily. She is very emotional. She sees things in 'black and white" as in, she either loves a person with all her heart - or she straight up hates them. People are friends - or...

I'm of the mind that everyone has them. Triggers are things that set you RIGHT OFF and hurt you deeply when if someone else heard them/experienced them, they wouldn't think twice about it. As I've grown and learnt more about myself - especially through my long talks with "George" the psychologist, I've come to recognise a few of my own triggers. Mine are: - Abandonment - Family/sense of family/the 'idea' of family - Friendship I recognise that yesterday, quite a few of these 'triggers' got set off in me at work and I ended up bursting into tears with my Manager and getting gently sent home "to rest my head". I got into work and was pretty happy. I think in general, I'm a pretty happy person. I love my job, I have great people to work with and although I was tired (omg I'm always tired! Why???) I was feeling pretty good. I was tidying the kitchen and humming away to myself when my friend Toni came in. She lowered h...

Riding the train to Clarkson - one of the  longest journeys here in Perth when I just happen to look up... and there she is . The doors 'whoosh' open and the wind gently ruffles her hair. She smiles at this and her smile...is so beautiful. She steps lightly onto the train, smiles as she passes people and makes her way to a vacant seat. Her steps are soft, gentle and there is a way about her that speaks of grace and humility. I like her immediately. Her hair is straight, glossy, black and just past her toned shoulders. She has caramel-brown skin and is wearing light makeup. Just the right amount of mascara to accentuate her big, brown eyes. A touch of blush on her face and shiny lipgloss on her full lips. She is only small, but very petite and in great shape. Today, she wears faded blue jeans - the expensive kind that you wear for years and years without seeing a hint of damage or tearing. She has black sandals on her small brown feet and a black sleeveless shirt. She has ...

If you haven't experienced them yet - your 30's are going to be the BEST years of your life. When I was younger, I always thought I'd like my 20's the most but it's when you get to 30 that life finally starts making sense to you. 30-40 is where it's at . Believe me. It's because you're still young enough to look sexy but mature enough to know what to do with all that sex appeal :) it's because you're old enough to be taken seriously, but young enough that people will still cut you some slack. Physically, you're strong, fit and able and mentally, you're excited, focused and ready. You're earning a decent wage at this age and still young enough to enjoy fun holidays. You're earning enough and young enough to enjoy having money. Enjoy this stage of life, you guys - because YOU MAY NEVER GET TO THIS POINT IN YOUR LIFE AGAIN. Being in your 30's means you've hit that perfect point in life where everything - EVERYTHING works...