God makes beauty from ashes

I get really heavy periods (sorry TMI I know). Like, disaster . You can't even imagine. For the first 3 days of my 'ladypains', I bleed so much that I use an entire packet of pads every single day for those days. Of 'super' ones. Sometimes a pack and a half each day. I think a pack lasts others the entire week . Not me. Anyway. The other day, I'd come into the city for a bit of window shopping. And I forgot to bring extra pads. An hour later and my underwear was soaking. I have to tell you, it was one of the most horrible, uncomfortable feelings I've ever experienced. Blood squelching about as I walked. I hated it. Thankfully, I'm blessed with money and access to chemists all over the city where I can purchase at any time a new packet of pads. I also got new underwear (desperately needed) and a cheap pair of shorts. Hooray :) But what made me think is that a lot of women are on the streets who can't afford these neccesities. I tried ...

I remember being about 8 years old and for some reason, Mom, Dad, Jay and I were on a train. I can't remember why or where we were going, but I remember I was really, really tired. I was sitting next to Dad and nodding off and found my head leaning against his shoulder. At the time, Dad's shoulder seemed to me like it went on forever. It was soft but supportive and within minutes, I remember falling asleep, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world because I could lean on my Dad's shoulder. That's all for today, folks. See you tomorrow xx

We both recall the very first words we ever said to each other and it makes us laugh any time one of us brings it up. I was leaving work and walking through the lobby to get outside. The usual Security Guard was Adam - who is gorgeous - and I liked saying 'goodbye' to him every afternoon. Without my glasses on, everyone looks the same to me so when I saw a guy in a suit at the concierge desk, I happily called out: "Bye Adam!" The guy in the suit shook his head and called back sternly "I'm NOT Adam" and that was how Jack and I met. A few days after our 'meeting', I had to attend fire training for the building. In the room were a bunch of employees from every business included in the building - one of them was Jack. There was a vacant seat next to him, so there I sat. I beamed up at him "Hello not Adam!" Haha. Jack rolled his eyes "Hello annoying small person" We both laughed. We talked and laughed together all...

I see her every morning as I walk the underpass from one train station to the next - the lady in red . She's about my height, slim and about 50ish years old. She has an amazing hourglass figure and short blonde hair, combed (and probably straightened) into a perfect bob. This lady wears dark sunglasses with large frames. I only ever really see her from behind so I can't really describe her face but she always wears the same style of dress - fitted, tailored nicely in an expensive but always plain fabric. It will either be black, blue or red and she will always have a matching handbag and shoes. She always wears a pearl bracelette which looks like a long pearl necklace that she's tied around and around her slender wrist, pearl earrings to match and a pearl necklace. Her dresses finish at just below the knee, are sleeveless and really classy. Really simple, really classic and really lovely . She's old school in the way that she presents herself.  << Her dresse...

Not much to write about today, I guess. I got a contract extension and can stay in this job (that I love) for an entire year :) Praise God, I have a year of steady wages and can work at a place where I am happy, appreciated and have made some great new friends. God is so good. Alun is happier as we are easing away from Christmas so that's also a good thing. I 'checked in' with "George" - my favourite psych ever - and we had a good long chat over the phone. We had to do phone counselling because I work long hours now and can't get out to Fremantle (an hour's train ride away) at a decent (not too late at night because I have to travel on my own) hour. I'm blessed to have a Psych I can trust. Again, God is so good. AND YET. I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. I am noticing that I'm saying to myself more often than not " You're going to be okay, JD. Just calm down " I'm anxious a lot, tired a lot and I don't ...

I'm watching a new Netflix series called "sex education" and I really like it. I wasn't expecting much of it so I'm pleasantly surprised :) Anyway, in one episode, a young girl has to have an abortion and as she's going into the clinic, there are two "Christians" outside, shouting at everyone going in. They're shouting things like "after 8 weeks, a baby has a heartbeat" and things like that. It made me want to work at an abortion clinic because I want to be someone loving and caring when they're going through such a heartbreaking, huge thing. I don't think Jesus would be outside the abortion clinics shouting abuse and guilt-tripping anyone - He would be the one quietly talking to the people that came to Him, gently offering words of love and understanding. I can see Jesus slipping His hand into the hand of a young girl who is shaking, crying and feeling torn from the inside...not judging her at all, but wanting to let her ...

That's what I'd rather be. Poor and happy!!! I remember working part time - 7:00am - 1:00pm every week, trotting off into the sunshine and having time to do house chores, meet with people I love for lunch, CLEAN THE HOUSE, do laundry...and most importantly - CHILL OUT. But I was 'poor'. I couldn't afford anything. I couldn't pay my way towards bills or the rent and I felt awful knowing Alun was shouldering it all on his own. Because I didn't earn much, my responsibilities were a lot less - but then so were my possibilities. Fast forward to today, when the phone is ringing, guests are milling about in the reception area, 2 air-con men are asking me something the same time as 2 repair-men, a courier is shoving a parcel in my face and out of the corner of my eye, I can see my work inbox getting more and more full. Is this worth $1000 a week, JD? Because it's a lot of money...but I'm so burnt out and miserable. I have NO time for Alun, NO TIM...

In the movies, relationships are all sunshine and lollipops. They are easy and funny and accompanied by romantic music that ebbs and swells at all the right places. Sex is amazing and usually ends up with the pair cuddling and looking into each other's eyes all night/all morning. Reality is - that relationships are hard work. My first reality was my marriage with Jon. It started off with all the bells and whistles that a Hollywood Blockbuster would be proud of. There were poems, long emails detailing every little thing we loved about each other. Roses. OMG there were so many roses. Phonecalls that lasted long into the night...so long, I'd wake in the night mumbling "okay...love you" in case I was still on the phone. Jon admitted to the same. But the first hit of reality...and Jon and I fell apart. We abandoned each other. We didn't make time to be together, stick together and listen to each other. So when I got distracted by a man from my past...Jon and I di...

A short post today because guys, I'M KNACKERD. I'm so tired. Mentally and emotionally tired. Drained, even. I just want to rest. But I don't rest because even the weekends are filled with doing chores. I can't sit still if dishes need doing and laundry needs hanging out. The garden needs to be watered daily. The floors need sweeping. OMG. I work long hours. I try to (along with Alun, he does so much at home bless him) keep our house in order. I try to catch up with friends. When can I rest???

In the worst times, anxiety is crippling. It will stop you dead in the street, squeeze your lungs and make it feel like you are literally dying. Other times like today, it manifests in sweaty hands, a racing heart and my entire body shakes. My concern is that I was responding as if someone was pointing a gun at me - when all that acutally happened was that someone wanted to offer me "constructive criticism" I swear, my anxiety takes me from 0-60 in about a millisecond. Calm down, JD. Calm down. And yet that's what sucks about anxiety because I can't . It's physically impossible to just 'calm down' - I can't control this anxiety. I can't make my hands stop sweating or make myself stop shaking. The best I can do is 'hold on' (mentally) until it passes. If that takes 5 minutes, then that's great...but when it takes hours...then it becomes a real problem. And guess what? Today, it's taking hours. It was just a small thing t...

I've just been watching Matthew Hussey on YouTube "How to flirt with a guy". He's fun to watch because he uses a lot of humour and also gives great practical tips on flirting/dating rather than just vague suggestions. What struck me about it though - was that there's nothing out there for married couples. Do we all just assume that once the 'honeymoon period' is over that there's no need to flirt? To excite? To entice? Because there is . And I think that element of sexiness is what makes a marriage last and last. Says the girl on her second marriage. *clears throat* Anyway. Here are my  3 top tips for dating your spouse: 1) Sexting . Do it. I think it's essential to remind your husband/wife that you still fancy them. I try to be sexy and send Alun emoji's that are filled with hearts or sometimes the teenager that lives in my heart thinks it's funny to send the emoji of the 'ok' sign along with a finger pointing...