Skip to main content

poor and happy

That's what I'd rather be.


Poor and happy!!!


I remember working part time - 7:00am - 1:00pm every week, trotting off into the sunshine and having time to do house chores, meet with people I love for lunch, CLEAN THE HOUSE, do laundry...and most importantly - CHILL OUT.


But I was 'poor'. I couldn't afford anything. I couldn't pay my way towards bills or the rent and I felt awful knowing Alun was shouldering it all on his own. Because I didn't earn much, my responsibilities were a lot less - but then so were my possibilities.


Fast forward to today, when the phone is ringing, guests are milling about in the reception area, 2 air-con men are asking me something the same time as 2 repair-men, a courier is shoving a parcel in my face and out of the corner of my eye, I can see my work inbox getting more and more full.


Is this worth $1000 a week, JD?


Because it's a lot of money...but I'm so burnt out and miserable. I have NO time for Alun, NO TIME for friends. NO TIME FOR CHILLING.


I haven't spoken to my best friend Christabel since last year - can you believe that???


ARGHHHHH.


So I can afford to pay my half of all the bills and mortgage. When I'm too tired to cook, I can order an expensive meal and pay the delivery for someone to bring it to my front door. I don't need sleeping tablets any more because I have NO TROUBLE falling asleep at night. I'm just so tired by the time the sun starts setting that it's hard to stay awake past 7:30pm these days.

What is my life?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

10...and then 5 :)

Yeah I can tell Im getting better because even though things are tough right now and Im sad and a bit fed up and weary...I still have hope :) I cant help it, it's who I am. I got an email from "Sandy" today. I really care about her and I look up to her and will probably read her email again when im less tired from a long day and it will make more sense...but for now, what I think she was trying to say to me was to take a bit more ownership of my life and to stop asking God to fix it all...or something like that...and I want you to know, Sandy - Im taking ownership of it and doing it ALL myself...but I believe in God and I believe that he hears me and so Im taking EVERYTHING to Him and just asking for some direction on this. I'll email you personally about about that another day. Thanks for always being there for me. I keep trying and failing and falling, then getting excited about something new and getting back up. Im on a very strange path just now and although...
5 comments
Read more

just not sure

If anyone were to ask if I was okay...I wouldn't know how to answer that. I mean, in theory, I'm fine. Absolutley fine. I go to the gym almost every day. I eat a lot healthier than I have in a long time. I still eat cookies and have the ocassional icecream but I'm doing a hellovalot better than I used to. I'm pretty proud of that. I try hard to be mindful - to be more 'in the moment' in my life. I notice I'm always 'rushing ahead' to the next thing - like if I'm in work, I'm rushing ahead in my mind to going home...then I get home and I'm rushing ahead to going to bed - ticking off in my mind all the things I need to do...all the things that need my attention between the time I sit on the sofa to watch TV and the time I'm pulling the blanket up over me and gratefully snuggling into bed. Even then, I'm rushing ahead to the next morning in my mind, planning what to wear for work, what to pack for lunch, what workout to do a...
Post a Comment
Read more

the girl in the red shirt

I finished work yesterday evening and caught the free bus into the city, smiling to myself as I pictured Alun's happy face and how great it would feel to hug him and hear about how his day went. I got off at my usual stop and waited with about 35 impatient, tired workers to cross the road into the main Mall. There we were, all in our grey, black or navy-blue business attire. Like a little well-dressed army. I guess that's why she stood out. She was the only one in our weary group who wasn't professionally dressed. She looked to be in her early 20's and was instead wearing jeans and a bright red t-shirt. Her shirt was too big for her, which had the effect of making her look smaller than she was. She was a thin girl, with hair the colour of straw that fell gently down her back in a low ponytail. She had a tan and was wearing black jeans. I noticed a black guitar case slung over her shoulder with bright red, yellow and green stickers on it and wondered if she was a ...
4 comments
Read more