I've just been watching Matthew Hussey on YouTube "How to flirt with a guy".
He's fun to watch because he uses a lot of humour and also gives great practical tips on flirting/dating rather than just vague suggestions.
What struck me about it though - was that there's nothing out there for married couples.
Do we all just assume that once the 'honeymoon period' is over that there's no need to flirt? To excite? To entice?
Because there is. And I think that element of sexiness is what makes a marriage last and last.
Says the girl on her second marriage.
*clears throat*
Anyway.
Here are my 3 top tips for dating your spouse:
1) Sexting. Do it. I think it's essential to remind your husband/wife that you still fancy them. I try to be sexy and send Alun emoji's that are filled with hearts or sometimes the teenager that lives in my heart thinks it's funny to send the emoji of the 'ok' sign along with a finger pointing through the hole the other fingers have made (wahey!) or lots of the purple eggplant emoji or sausages or whatever...but either way, don't let the sexting stop once you're married. Send that sexy photo. Guys love it. Girls, probably not so much. I'm not sure what to do with Alun's sexy pics apart from roll my eyes. I prefer it when Alun 'romances' me by telling me something he loves about me "I love your big brown eyes, so beautiful" or "Ooo you look so sexy today". Makes my heart flutter.
2) Have fun together. Alun and I both work hard. We both work long hours. We both get tired and irritable, yes...but we always make time for fun. We call it "camping" where we change the furniture around in the bedroom so that it feels like an entirely different space - or where we drag the mattress onto the floor in the living room or guest room so that we're in a different room for the night. It's fun for the two of us! We laugh together a lot. Al loves dancing and even though I'm rubbish at it, I'll bust a few moves in the kitchen with him because it makes Alun so happy. I think the most fun we've had was when we booked out a log cabin in the woods but it was haunted or something because both Alun and I felt unwelcome and unsafe in it...so we ended up sleeping in the back of our car instead. We had so much fun! We could see the stars from the car's back window and Alun was so giddy about it, he kept giggling. It was pretty wonderful. We play board games together sometimes. Al tries to teach me 'chess'. I am rubbish at it but I try. I love stand-up paddleboarding so Al takes me. He hates movies but will come with me once in a while because I love the movies. We play together, sing together, laugh together. He really is my best friend and I wouldn't have it any other way.
3) Whether you have to plan it (me) or prefer to be more spontaneous (Al), make time for sex. Yes, it feels awkward writing about it because I want everyone who reads this to think of me as innocent and sweet but it is a fact of life and one I fought pretty hard for in 2009 - so this is something I'm going to highlight. There is something about sex that is intangible and yet it is the glue that holds couples together somehow. The 'glue' should of course be love, compassion, trust, care, gentleness, etc...but it also raw attraction. It's getting 'down and dirty' with the one you fancy most - and it is critical to a marriage - especially between young (er) people. I guess as we get older, Al and I won't need it (???) as much in our marriage but while we're young and our bodies benefit from it (I swear, my skin clears so much after great sex...is that ok to write???)...we make sure it happens. And often. I don't know about other couples, but I know having regular sex draws Alun and I closer to each other on an entirely new level. It means no one else can get between us. It means - for me, anyway - that when I'm out and about in the world and there are genuinely attractive guys around me - I'm not in the least bit tempted because I'm fully satisfied by my husband. I guess it's like eating a full, wholesome meal before you go shopping. You're less tempted to eat out and waste money on junk because you've gotten what you want and need at home. So good.
That's it for today. See you tomorrow :)
He's fun to watch because he uses a lot of humour and also gives great practical tips on flirting/dating rather than just vague suggestions.
What struck me about it though - was that there's nothing out there for married couples.
Do we all just assume that once the 'honeymoon period' is over that there's no need to flirt? To excite? To entice?
Because there is. And I think that element of sexiness is what makes a marriage last and last.
Says the girl on her second marriage.
*clears throat*
Anyway.
Here are my 3 top tips for dating your spouse:
1) Sexting. Do it. I think it's essential to remind your husband/wife that you still fancy them. I try to be sexy and send Alun emoji's that are filled with hearts or sometimes the teenager that lives in my heart thinks it's funny to send the emoji of the 'ok' sign along with a finger pointing through the hole the other fingers have made (wahey!) or lots of the purple eggplant emoji or sausages or whatever...but either way, don't let the sexting stop once you're married. Send that sexy photo. Guys love it. Girls, probably not so much. I'm not sure what to do with Alun's sexy pics apart from roll my eyes. I prefer it when Alun 'romances' me by telling me something he loves about me "I love your big brown eyes, so beautiful" or "Ooo you look so sexy today". Makes my heart flutter.
2) Have fun together. Alun and I both work hard. We both work long hours. We both get tired and irritable, yes...but we always make time for fun. We call it "camping" where we change the furniture around in the bedroom so that it feels like an entirely different space - or where we drag the mattress onto the floor in the living room or guest room so that we're in a different room for the night. It's fun for the two of us! We laugh together a lot. Al loves dancing and even though I'm rubbish at it, I'll bust a few moves in the kitchen with him because it makes Alun so happy. I think the most fun we've had was when we booked out a log cabin in the woods but it was haunted or something because both Alun and I felt unwelcome and unsafe in it...so we ended up sleeping in the back of our car instead. We had so much fun! We could see the stars from the car's back window and Alun was so giddy about it, he kept giggling. It was pretty wonderful. We play board games together sometimes. Al tries to teach me 'chess'. I am rubbish at it but I try. I love stand-up paddleboarding so Al takes me. He hates movies but will come with me once in a while because I love the movies. We play together, sing together, laugh together. He really is my best friend and I wouldn't have it any other way.
3) Whether you have to plan it (me) or prefer to be more spontaneous (Al), make time for sex. Yes, it feels awkward writing about it because I want everyone who reads this to think of me as innocent and sweet but it is a fact of life and one I fought pretty hard for in 2009 - so this is something I'm going to highlight. There is something about sex that is intangible and yet it is the glue that holds couples together somehow. The 'glue' should of course be love, compassion, trust, care, gentleness, etc...but it also raw attraction. It's getting 'down and dirty' with the one you fancy most - and it is critical to a marriage - especially between young (er) people. I guess as we get older, Al and I won't need it (???) as much in our marriage but while we're young and our bodies benefit from it (I swear, my skin clears so much after great sex...is that ok to write???)...we make sure it happens. And often. I don't know about other couples, but I know having regular sex draws Alun and I closer to each other on an entirely new level. It means no one else can get between us. It means - for me, anyway - that when I'm out and about in the world and there are genuinely attractive guys around me - I'm not in the least bit tempted because I'm fully satisfied by my husband. I guess it's like eating a full, wholesome meal before you go shopping. You're less tempted to eat out and waste money on junk because you've gotten what you want and need at home. So good.
That's it for today. See you tomorrow :)
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