I was so alone, dejected, discouraged and heartbroken that I honestly just wanted to die.
Where would I even sleep that night?
That's it. I had to focus. I had to sort out somewhere to stay.
On the eviction notice was the real estate's details.
I would go to them and explain what had happened. They would help me and everything would be ok.
I found my way to their office in the city. A plush, gorgeous office with calming cool air throughout. I love air conditioners. Praise God.
When it was finally my turn to be seen, a very angry woman addressed me.
"Janet. About time we met, hmm?"
I nodded, nervously and held my hand out "It's so nice to meet you" I offered
"I don't think so" she replied. "You've been in arrears for over 4 months, Janet. You should have called and told us you were struggling and we could have worked something out. Instead you do a runner. That left me with debt, it left the landlord in debt and it left us all flummoxed at your sheer selfishness and tenacity. The world doesn't revolve around you. You should have at least turned up to Court when summoned. Shame on you"
Oh my word.
This was all too much.
My head swam.
I didn't say a word. I just muttered "Thank you. I'm sorry"
"We're going to get that money back, Janet - even if you pay it back over the next 20 years!" she yelled down the hall after me.
shocked, I just left.
I slept that night in a park - every noise waking me with a jump. I have never felt more bereft or miserable in my life.
I will say this...I thought I had no one. I thought I was alone.
I was thankfully wrong.
God was with me - and so were a handful of friends who refused to think badly of me no matter how convincing Anne was or how alarming I was.
One of those friends was a girl I met when I previously used to work at McDonalds. I saw her at the shops when I was waiting by a couple eating on a bench. My mouth was watering at the scent of their sausage rolls and I was hoping they'd leave some of their lunch behind so I could have a desperate bite.
"Sharon" walked up to me. She placed a gentle hand on my arm.
"Hey you - I haven't seen you in so long, you ok?"
My tears welled up and I nodded, trying to pretend I was.
"You look awful, hun - what's been going on?"
Sharon wasn't a Christian and we only knew each other briefly from work. As much as I wanted to explain what I was going through, I didn't fully understand it myself...so I just made it as simple as I could:
"I have nowhere to sleep and haven't eaten in days"
Sharon's look of concern and care was such a blessing to my bruised heart.
She took me home with her. I slept gratefully on her couch and ate about 12 peanut butter sandwiches.
I then spent the next few weeks sleeping at different friend's places. I never wanted to stay too long - just a few days - so that I didn't burden them. Eventually - and I can't remember how it happened exactly, but Gareth and I moved in with a girl I used to go to University with. Ashlee was kind and had a gentle heart and invited us into her tiny home. It didn't take long for Gareth to push her out/away and so we lived in her old 2 bedroom unit together.
I spent so many nights over the next few years feeling torn. Feeling lost. Feeling so very, very alone. I can look back now and be grateful for God's love, protection and for the handful of friends who stayed by me and never abandoned me. But back then - when I was smack bang in the middle of it, I felt absolutely miserable.
The bankcard I was able to cancel, renew and eventually get back - just went straight into Gareth's wallet. My weekly Centrelink payments were under his control before I knew it.
I was suffering from a life that someone else was in control of - between Anne and Gareth...I felt completely broken.
I would fall asleep each night praying earnestly that I would die in the night and never wake up.
Unfortunately, I did wake.
And every day, under immense pressure - I had a new problem...in the form of Anne's younger brother, "Nicko".
Nicko wanted his $2500.00 back.
He didn't care that I didn't have even 25 cents, let alone thousands of dollars. He didn't care that it wasn't my idea that he pay the bond to begin with. His sister had "disappeared" and as he wasn't able to contact her - so he called me. Hourly. Sometimes every half an hour. Sometimes every 10 minutes.
Nicko would scream obscenities and threats down the phone-line to me.
Gareth left me to it. He didn't help or defend me. He seemed to sense he was up against someone of his own kind and he backed right off and just watched me drown.
Nicko's calls were the stuff of nightmares.
I pleaded with Gareth to please let me have $10 a week. Of my own money. For goodness sakes.
I pleaded with Nicko to please accept $10 a week until his debt was paid.
They both eventually accepted.
It took me YEARS to pay Nicko back and for every day of those years, he called me. He called me every filthy, heinous, horrible name under the sun and he often he called hourly.
I thank God for the day I paid "Nicko" the last $10. I thank God that unlike his sister, he stuck to his word. Once the last payment was made, he never called again. I'm thankful for that version of personal hell that finally came to a halt. I don't think I could have survived another day of it.
Where would I even sleep that night?
That's it. I had to focus. I had to sort out somewhere to stay.
On the eviction notice was the real estate's details.
I would go to them and explain what had happened. They would help me and everything would be ok.
I found my way to their office in the city. A plush, gorgeous office with calming cool air throughout. I love air conditioners. Praise God.
When it was finally my turn to be seen, a very angry woman addressed me.
"Janet. About time we met, hmm?"
I nodded, nervously and held my hand out "It's so nice to meet you" I offered
"I don't think so" she replied. "You've been in arrears for over 4 months, Janet. You should have called and told us you were struggling and we could have worked something out. Instead you do a runner. That left me with debt, it left the landlord in debt and it left us all flummoxed at your sheer selfishness and tenacity. The world doesn't revolve around you. You should have at least turned up to Court when summoned. Shame on you"
Oh my word.
This was all too much.
My head swam.
I didn't say a word. I just muttered "Thank you. I'm sorry"
"We're going to get that money back, Janet - even if you pay it back over the next 20 years!" she yelled down the hall after me.
shocked, I just left.
I slept that night in a park - every noise waking me with a jump. I have never felt more bereft or miserable in my life.
I will say this...I thought I had no one. I thought I was alone.
I was thankfully wrong.
God was with me - and so were a handful of friends who refused to think badly of me no matter how convincing Anne was or how alarming I was.
One of those friends was a girl I met when I previously used to work at McDonalds. I saw her at the shops when I was waiting by a couple eating on a bench. My mouth was watering at the scent of their sausage rolls and I was hoping they'd leave some of their lunch behind so I could have a desperate bite.
"Sharon" walked up to me. She placed a gentle hand on my arm.
"Hey you - I haven't seen you in so long, you ok?"
My tears welled up and I nodded, trying to pretend I was.
"You look awful, hun - what's been going on?"
Sharon wasn't a Christian and we only knew each other briefly from work. As much as I wanted to explain what I was going through, I didn't fully understand it myself...so I just made it as simple as I could:
"I have nowhere to sleep and haven't eaten in days"
Sharon's look of concern and care was such a blessing to my bruised heart.
She took me home with her. I slept gratefully on her couch and ate about 12 peanut butter sandwiches.
I then spent the next few weeks sleeping at different friend's places. I never wanted to stay too long - just a few days - so that I didn't burden them. Eventually - and I can't remember how it happened exactly, but Gareth and I moved in with a girl I used to go to University with. Ashlee was kind and had a gentle heart and invited us into her tiny home. It didn't take long for Gareth to push her out/away and so we lived in her old 2 bedroom unit together.
I spent so many nights over the next few years feeling torn. Feeling lost. Feeling so very, very alone. I can look back now and be grateful for God's love, protection and for the handful of friends who stayed by me and never abandoned me. But back then - when I was smack bang in the middle of it, I felt absolutely miserable.
The bankcard I was able to cancel, renew and eventually get back - just went straight into Gareth's wallet. My weekly Centrelink payments were under his control before I knew it.
I was suffering from a life that someone else was in control of - between Anne and Gareth...I felt completely broken.
I would fall asleep each night praying earnestly that I would die in the night and never wake up.
Unfortunately, I did wake.
And every day, under immense pressure - I had a new problem...in the form of Anne's younger brother, "Nicko".
Nicko wanted his $2500.00 back.
He didn't care that I didn't have even 25 cents, let alone thousands of dollars. He didn't care that it wasn't my idea that he pay the bond to begin with. His sister had "disappeared" and as he wasn't able to contact her - so he called me. Hourly. Sometimes every half an hour. Sometimes every 10 minutes.
Nicko would scream obscenities and threats down the phone-line to me.
Gareth left me to it. He didn't help or defend me. He seemed to sense he was up against someone of his own kind and he backed right off and just watched me drown.
Nicko's calls were the stuff of nightmares.
I pleaded with Gareth to please let me have $10 a week. Of my own money. For goodness sakes.
I pleaded with Nicko to please accept $10 a week until his debt was paid.
They both eventually accepted.
It took me YEARS to pay Nicko back and for every day of those years, he called me. He called me every filthy, heinous, horrible name under the sun and he often he called hourly.
I thank God for the day I paid "Nicko" the last $10. I thank God that unlike his sister, he stuck to his word. Once the last payment was made, he never called again. I'm thankful for that version of personal hell that finally came to a halt. I don't think I could have survived another day of it.
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