Hey guys,
Nothing new to report - just loads of eat, work, eat, sleep...and repeat, repeat, repeat.
I didn't know my life would end up being so boring.
I want to write to you about wonderous, amazing things. I want to read back on this blog, nod my head the way I do at my blog entries sometimes and say "yeah girl - that was a good one" but I just feel empty and like I've got nothing to give.
I know I'm tired.
I work long hours and I'm still not used to them, so every day when I trudge up the hill towards our home, I feel the relief of homecoming - but more so because I can lay down. I am so physically, emotionally and mentally 'spent' at the end of a week day that I literally hug Alun (he's been home a lot lately), put on pjs and go to bed. I'm asleep before 6pm and then awake again before I know it and wearily trudging back to work.
What is my life?
I feel a sense of 'missing out' coupled with a sense of mild resentment - because Alun's shifts lately have meant he's only been working 1 or 2 days in a whole week. This has been the case every week since Christmas. Alun is bored at home and is doing his best to be helpful/keep occupied but whenever I have to leave at the break of day and kiss Alun's warm cheek 'goodbye', knowing he gets to sleep as long as he wants for pretty much the whole week - I feel such a sense of loss and of envy.
When do I get a day off?
Because the weekend is not time for resting. It's time for cleaning. And laundry. Paying bills and running errands. Because Alun gets weekends off now too - we spend them together.
I should like this but I resent it because I miss my solace.
I feel like I've earnt a rest and a day of "doing nothing" when Alun's had all week "of nothing" so by the time the weekend comes, I'm so tired, so fed up and so 'over it'...but Alun's waited all week to hang out so he's excited, giddy and ready for "doing loads together".
Please shoot me.
Nothing new to report - just loads of eat, work, eat, sleep...and repeat, repeat, repeat.
I didn't know my life would end up being so boring.
I want to write to you about wonderous, amazing things. I want to read back on this blog, nod my head the way I do at my blog entries sometimes and say "yeah girl - that was a good one" but I just feel empty and like I've got nothing to give.
I know I'm tired.
I work long hours and I'm still not used to them, so every day when I trudge up the hill towards our home, I feel the relief of homecoming - but more so because I can lay down. I am so physically, emotionally and mentally 'spent' at the end of a week day that I literally hug Alun (he's been home a lot lately), put on pjs and go to bed. I'm asleep before 6pm and then awake again before I know it and wearily trudging back to work.
What is my life?
I feel a sense of 'missing out' coupled with a sense of mild resentment - because Alun's shifts lately have meant he's only been working 1 or 2 days in a whole week. This has been the case every week since Christmas. Alun is bored at home and is doing his best to be helpful/keep occupied but whenever I have to leave at the break of day and kiss Alun's warm cheek 'goodbye', knowing he gets to sleep as long as he wants for pretty much the whole week - I feel such a sense of loss and of envy.
When do I get a day off?
Because the weekend is not time for resting. It's time for cleaning. And laundry. Paying bills and running errands. Because Alun gets weekends off now too - we spend them together.
I should like this but I resent it because I miss my solace.
I feel like I've earnt a rest and a day of "doing nothing" when Alun's had all week "of nothing" so by the time the weekend comes, I'm so tired, so fed up and so 'over it'...but Alun's waited all week to hang out so he's excited, giddy and ready for "doing loads together".
Please shoot me.
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