Marc. He is the little brother I've always wanted. Marc is loyal, sweet, funny, quick-witted, sarcastic AF, determined, stubborn, filthy-minded like me and someone I can be 100% myself with. He is a careful thinker, that guy. He considers things long and hard before he says or does anything and that wisdom in such a young man is really rare and so beautiful. Marc messaged me last night (or was it this morning? I have no idea when trying to work out the time difference between the UK and Australia) and he said some really tough, gritty, beautiful, soul-lifting things. One of them was that he loved me. Another was that he wouldn't be the person he was without me in his life. Both made me cry because before I read them, I was about to jump off a roof.
So Marc...you saved my life today, lad. Because of you, I stepped back from the very top of my work building (it is filthy up there, you don't even know) and I caught the lift back to the floor I work on. I love you more than I could ever tell you and you have no idea how powerful your words are. You are so much younger than me but so much smarter and you are going to grow up and shake the world. You're incredible and I'm so proud of you.
Becci. She is the little sister I've always wanted. When Alun flew Becci over to stay with us for a few weeks, they are some of the happiest weeks I've ever had. Funnily enough, we both just missed Marc more. Haha. I guess he lives in our hearts and doesn't even know how much we both adore him. I love Becci's strength, courage and humour. I love that we can just look at each other and have an entire conversation. I love that Becci has come from all manner of hell and hardship and yet she is the softest, kindest person I know. She's now an incredible Mother of the cutest little girl I've ever seen and she's smashing it out of the ball park in how awesome she is at being a Mom. Again, someone I'm so incredibly proud of.
I hope you are both reading this blog because I'm directing it at you.
I can't trust myself to stay alive so if this is the last thing I leave behind in the world, I want it to be filled with love.
I loved going to the movies with Marc. I took socks because my feet always get cold and he rolled his eyes. We both secretly dressed up really nicely for each other. I like that. I like that he's one of the rare people I can sit next to, say nothing and have a great time with.
I loved going to Rottnest with Becci. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED every text message she sent me when I was away from the house asking to use my stuff "Hey, can I lend your lipstick?" because I've longed for that my whole life - a little sister who would want to use my makeup. I love Becci's giggle. I love that I'm not afraid to eat what I honestly want in front of her because Becci won't judge, she'll just smile and take a few fries off my plate. I feel like I'm in great company with her because again, I can just be myself.
I loved going to the gym with Marc. We both looked our very best in those days and I couldn't have picked anyone better to do that with. If you're reading this, Marc. YOU ARE CAPABLE OF AMAZING THINGS and you WILL lose weight again. You probably already have.
Marc asked me once who I would pick to have dinner with; if I could pick anyone at all - alive or dead, famous or not. I think it was a psychological question of people who inspire me and I think Marc was hoping to learn about my life and my soul really. I just picked the people I find funniest - famous people - and felt pretty pleased with myself. Marc picked people of substance. People who were born into poverty and worked their way up to being millionaires. People who had overcome adversity.
Well, Marc...If I could pick again, mate - I'd choose you.
I'd choose Becci.
Of course Alun would be at that table.
Claudie - my best friend. We have gone way back together. We have been poor Uni students together with nothing in the fridge for days (maybe weeks?) and we have been wealthy middle-class earners together - sending each other pictures of expensive clothing and leather handbags "Hey, what do you think of this?" because we could finally afford it. We have cried together, laughed together, shouted at each other, hurt each other (oh bella, I'm so sorry), taken 'time out' from each other and then come back together because one of us needed the other one. No grudges were held. It was simply "I really need you" and the response was "I'll call you now". Just like that. That's what best friends do. I know if I was going through a crisis, Claudie would make time for me - no matter how busy she was or what she was going through herself. Claudie might not understand what the hell I'm crying hysterically about - but she'll at least take time to listen and calm me down. Claudie is tenacious, sweet, hilarious, funny, amazing, warm, caring and loving. She wears her heart on her sleeve and no matter how many times it gets broken, she continues to love with abandon. I love that about her.
Cat - a really lovely lady I used to work with in my former job. Cat is really sweet, really warm, bubbly and bright and is a wonderful person to spend time with. Cat and I go to the movies (which is a big deal for me because I really like going on my own nowadays) a lot and I treasure the 'dates' we have.
So Marc...you saved my life today, lad. Because of you, I stepped back from the very top of my work building (it is filthy up there, you don't even know) and I caught the lift back to the floor I work on. I love you more than I could ever tell you and you have no idea how powerful your words are. You are so much younger than me but so much smarter and you are going to grow up and shake the world. You're incredible and I'm so proud of you.
Becci. She is the little sister I've always wanted. When Alun flew Becci over to stay with us for a few weeks, they are some of the happiest weeks I've ever had. Funnily enough, we both just missed Marc more. Haha. I guess he lives in our hearts and doesn't even know how much we both adore him. I love Becci's strength, courage and humour. I love that we can just look at each other and have an entire conversation. I love that Becci has come from all manner of hell and hardship and yet she is the softest, kindest person I know. She's now an incredible Mother of the cutest little girl I've ever seen and she's smashing it out of the ball park in how awesome she is at being a Mom. Again, someone I'm so incredibly proud of.
I hope you are both reading this blog because I'm directing it at you.
I can't trust myself to stay alive so if this is the last thing I leave behind in the world, I want it to be filled with love.
I loved going to the movies with Marc. I took socks because my feet always get cold and he rolled his eyes. We both secretly dressed up really nicely for each other. I like that. I like that he's one of the rare people I can sit next to, say nothing and have a great time with.
I loved going to Rottnest with Becci. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED every text message she sent me when I was away from the house asking to use my stuff "Hey, can I lend your lipstick?" because I've longed for that my whole life - a little sister who would want to use my makeup. I love Becci's giggle. I love that I'm not afraid to eat what I honestly want in front of her because Becci won't judge, she'll just smile and take a few fries off my plate. I feel like I'm in great company with her because again, I can just be myself.
I loved going to the gym with Marc. We both looked our very best in those days and I couldn't have picked anyone better to do that with. If you're reading this, Marc. YOU ARE CAPABLE OF AMAZING THINGS and you WILL lose weight again. You probably already have.
Marc asked me once who I would pick to have dinner with; if I could pick anyone at all - alive or dead, famous or not. I think it was a psychological question of people who inspire me and I think Marc was hoping to learn about my life and my soul really. I just picked the people I find funniest - famous people - and felt pretty pleased with myself. Marc picked people of substance. People who were born into poverty and worked their way up to being millionaires. People who had overcome adversity.
Well, Marc...If I could pick again, mate - I'd choose you.
I'd choose Becci.
Of course Alun would be at that table.
Claudie - my best friend. We have gone way back together. We have been poor Uni students together with nothing in the fridge for days (maybe weeks?) and we have been wealthy middle-class earners together - sending each other pictures of expensive clothing and leather handbags "Hey, what do you think of this?" because we could finally afford it. We have cried together, laughed together, shouted at each other, hurt each other (oh bella, I'm so sorry), taken 'time out' from each other and then come back together because one of us needed the other one. No grudges were held. It was simply "I really need you" and the response was "I'll call you now". Just like that. That's what best friends do. I know if I was going through a crisis, Claudie would make time for me - no matter how busy she was or what she was going through herself. Claudie might not understand what the hell I'm crying hysterically about - but she'll at least take time to listen and calm me down. Claudie is tenacious, sweet, hilarious, funny, amazing, warm, caring and loving. She wears her heart on her sleeve and no matter how many times it gets broken, she continues to love with abandon. I love that about her.
Cat - a really lovely lady I used to work with in my former job. Cat is really sweet, really warm, bubbly and bright and is a wonderful person to spend time with. Cat and I go to the movies (which is a big deal for me because I really like going on my own nowadays) a lot and I treasure the 'dates' we have.
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