One of the toughest things I've been through in my life - is that year of absolute HELL with Anne. The things she put me through and did to me...makes me shudder even now - and I'm almost 17-20 years past it. That's how much and how deeply she hurt me.
I remember back in that year, though - the worst feeling was the not knowing.
Anne held all the cards, played me like a complete fool - and because I was vulnerable and in hospital with depression for much of that year - struggling to think straight on the powerful medication the hospital had me on - a lot of what she was doing could have been stopped so much sooner if only I had known about it. Her lies, her gossip, her carefully planned and timed comments - the way she got me to sign so many papers which ended up in tens of thousands of debt...all of it could have been stopped if I had any knowledge into the situation.
Knowledge is power.
It really is.
Now I'm 40 years old and not the naive 19 year old Anne got her wicked claws into...and it's happening again. My life at work is unravelling around me and I'm panicked, scared, depressed, anxious and lost - because I don't know the full extent of what I'm facing.
To me - in my simple mind - it's just a new job. It's a new job in a new office and I'm learning a very demanding and highly stressful role and working with people I just don't know. "Joyce" is unfortunately someone I'm coming to know quite a bit - because we're in constant contact with each other every. single. day.
Here are a list of Joyce's likes and dislikes (so far):
Joyce likes:
Really weird, off-the-wall occurrences at the office. If the photocopier or printer jams and she sees someone puzzling over it, she laughs.
Anything related to documentation - she finds it funny if people don't address letters correctly, or date stamp things, or date-stamp documents with the wrong date (that's apparently hilarious), or send the wrong documents to the wrong Minister's office or to Parliament and it's NOT her fault - oh she enjoys that very much. The laughing. So much laughing.
She is very fond of "her staff" - The Minister, Stacee and Nicola. She also quite likes everyone else in the office apart from me. Admittedly, she has her favourites and the rest come under varying degrees of "like"...but for me, she sets aside a special intolerance.
Lucky me, hey?
If I have to ask her a question about something new to me - Joyce enjoys this EXTREMELY. She loves to know something I don't know and she very much enjoys "teaching" or "explaining". She goes on at length and makes everything very complicated when really they are very simple
Things Joyce DOESN'T like:
Smiling
Me enjoying my role
Me being happy AT ALL. For ANY reason.
Friendship
Kindness
Honesty
Integrity
Compassion
Sweetness
Excitement
New ideas. Or ANYTHING new for that matter.
Change - even changes that make things SO MUCH BETTER. She seems to especially hate that type.
Me doing my job well. Joyce really hates this.
When anyone compliments me on a job well done. She likes to come over and IMMEDIATELY remind me of any and all mistakes I've made.
So when it comes to Joyce, I'm pretty much figuring her out. She is a weird, bitter, twisted woman who seems quite good at her Executive Officer role and fiercely determined to protect it and not let anyone "outshine" her.
I figure everyone else in the office is ok. They seem nice. They work hard and apart from Joyce and I - everyone seems to gel together, work together, and get along fairly well.
But things are not as they seem.
No.
Because I met for lunch with my friend "Paula" the other week. Paula has worked very closely with Tim, Emma and Jane over the last years and I was shocked to find she is extremely cautious of the three of them BECAUSE THEY USED TO BULLY HER. They bullied her so much and for so long in fact, that Paula quit her job and got a new role in another Department. What scares me about all this is that Paula is a very STRONG woman. She takes no sh*t and she is not gentle and sensitive like I am - she calls a spade a spade and is NOT afraid to stand up for herself. Paula's roles are usually Executive Assistant to some very high up officials in Government and it's because she is someone who gets the job done. Paula is dependable, reliable, hard-working, no-nonsense and definitely someone who is not up for being pushed around.
So for her to LEAVE HER JOB because of Tim, Emma and Jane (the team who went out of their way to head hunt me for the role in Minster P's office) sets off all my alarms.
At the moment, I'm in their favour. I'm liked by them and they don't work closely with me so I don't interact with them apart from little talks in the kitchen or a happy "hey, how are you?" as I'm passing their offices or as they're passing by reception.
Paula strongly recommends that neither Tim, Emma or Jane are to be trusted. At all. With anything.
Paula also said that the 3 of them are thick as thieves and that they are involved in some pretty underhanded, dodgy, illicit things. They cover for each other, lie for each other and hide the truth so that they have gotten away with some bad things over the years without ever getting caught. Paula said that when they left *my old Government Department* - it didn't take long for their deceit to be uncovered and that they had left - and I quote - "A MASSIVE Sh*t STORM" in their wake.
OMG you guys.
Who am I working for here???
And yeah - I know what you're thinking...I know first hand - because of what happened to me with Anne - not to listen to gossip. I firmly believe in knowing FOR MYSELF what a person is like - regardless of what 'others' think...but when Paula spoke - something deep inside knew it was true. Something deep in my gut responded to what she told me - with fear...because I've also sensed (on my own - before speaking to Paula) from my last few weeks of working with these 3 that "all is not what it seems". I get an unsettled feeling from them. I usually brush it off with a shake of my head "Stop panicking for nothing JD" I say to myself.
But when Paula spoke - I knew somehow what she was saying was TRUE.
So now I'm scared.
There's a saying "to be forewarned is to be forearmed" - that if you know your enemy, you'll be better equipped to deal with them whenever they choose to attack. They won't catch you off guard if you've been quietly preparing to defend yourself the entire time.
So that's what I'm going to start doing.
I used to run to Emma whenever "Joyce" hurt me. Emma would always provide a listening ear and it comforted me to think I had a friend.
That will be ceasing immediately.
I'll of course talk to Tim, Emma and Jane - but I'll keep it all very polite, very IMPERSONAL and very 'on the surface'.
Just in case.
But how do I prepare for a battle when I don't know what or who OR WHY I'm going to fight it?
I don't know anymore why God put me in this role - in this battlefield...but I know He has a plan to bring goodness, joy and success from it all. I just have to trust in Him. I just have to continue to have integrity, to work hard and to be myself - my sweet-natured, child-like, wonderful self (Yeah I can't believe I've said that either - I don't usually compliment myself) - in spite of the craziness and lurking evil (?) I'm surrounded by.
Please keep me in your thoughts, you guys.
And if you have ANY advice on how to move forward with all of this...pleeeease tell me.
I remember back in that year, though - the worst feeling was the not knowing.
Anne held all the cards, played me like a complete fool - and because I was vulnerable and in hospital with depression for much of that year - struggling to think straight on the powerful medication the hospital had me on - a lot of what she was doing could have been stopped so much sooner if only I had known about it. Her lies, her gossip, her carefully planned and timed comments - the way she got me to sign so many papers which ended up in tens of thousands of debt...all of it could have been stopped if I had any knowledge into the situation.
Knowledge is power.
It really is.
Now I'm 40 years old and not the naive 19 year old Anne got her wicked claws into...and it's happening again. My life at work is unravelling around me and I'm panicked, scared, depressed, anxious and lost - because I don't know the full extent of what I'm facing.
To me - in my simple mind - it's just a new job. It's a new job in a new office and I'm learning a very demanding and highly stressful role and working with people I just don't know. "Joyce" is unfortunately someone I'm coming to know quite a bit - because we're in constant contact with each other every. single. day.
Here are a list of Joyce's likes and dislikes (so far):
Joyce likes:
Really weird, off-the-wall occurrences at the office. If the photocopier or printer jams and she sees someone puzzling over it, she laughs.
Anything related to documentation - she finds it funny if people don't address letters correctly, or date stamp things, or date-stamp documents with the wrong date (that's apparently hilarious), or send the wrong documents to the wrong Minister's office or to Parliament and it's NOT her fault - oh she enjoys that very much. The laughing. So much laughing.
She is very fond of "her staff" - The Minister, Stacee and Nicola. She also quite likes everyone else in the office apart from me. Admittedly, she has her favourites and the rest come under varying degrees of "like"...but for me, she sets aside a special intolerance.
Lucky me, hey?
If I have to ask her a question about something new to me - Joyce enjoys this EXTREMELY. She loves to know something I don't know and she very much enjoys "teaching" or "explaining". She goes on at length and makes everything very complicated when really they are very simple
Things Joyce DOESN'T like:
Smiling
Me enjoying my role
Me being happy AT ALL. For ANY reason.
Friendship
Kindness
Honesty
Integrity
Compassion
Sweetness
Excitement
New ideas. Or ANYTHING new for that matter.
Change - even changes that make things SO MUCH BETTER. She seems to especially hate that type.
Me doing my job well. Joyce really hates this.
When anyone compliments me on a job well done. She likes to come over and IMMEDIATELY remind me of any and all mistakes I've made.
So when it comes to Joyce, I'm pretty much figuring her out. She is a weird, bitter, twisted woman who seems quite good at her Executive Officer role and fiercely determined to protect it and not let anyone "outshine" her.
I figure everyone else in the office is ok. They seem nice. They work hard and apart from Joyce and I - everyone seems to gel together, work together, and get along fairly well.
But things are not as they seem.
No.
Because I met for lunch with my friend "Paula" the other week. Paula has worked very closely with Tim, Emma and Jane over the last years and I was shocked to find she is extremely cautious of the three of them BECAUSE THEY USED TO BULLY HER. They bullied her so much and for so long in fact, that Paula quit her job and got a new role in another Department. What scares me about all this is that Paula is a very STRONG woman. She takes no sh*t and she is not gentle and sensitive like I am - she calls a spade a spade and is NOT afraid to stand up for herself. Paula's roles are usually Executive Assistant to some very high up officials in Government and it's because she is someone who gets the job done. Paula is dependable, reliable, hard-working, no-nonsense and definitely someone who is not up for being pushed around.
So for her to LEAVE HER JOB because of Tim, Emma and Jane (the team who went out of their way to head hunt me for the role in Minster P's office) sets off all my alarms.
At the moment, I'm in their favour. I'm liked by them and they don't work closely with me so I don't interact with them apart from little talks in the kitchen or a happy "hey, how are you?" as I'm passing their offices or as they're passing by reception.
Paula strongly recommends that neither Tim, Emma or Jane are to be trusted. At all. With anything.
Paula also said that the 3 of them are thick as thieves and that they are involved in some pretty underhanded, dodgy, illicit things. They cover for each other, lie for each other and hide the truth so that they have gotten away with some bad things over the years without ever getting caught. Paula said that when they left *my old Government Department* - it didn't take long for their deceit to be uncovered and that they had left - and I quote - "A MASSIVE Sh*t STORM" in their wake.
OMG you guys.
Who am I working for here???
And yeah - I know what you're thinking...I know first hand - because of what happened to me with Anne - not to listen to gossip. I firmly believe in knowing FOR MYSELF what a person is like - regardless of what 'others' think...but when Paula spoke - something deep inside knew it was true. Something deep in my gut responded to what she told me - with fear...because I've also sensed (on my own - before speaking to Paula) from my last few weeks of working with these 3 that "all is not what it seems". I get an unsettled feeling from them. I usually brush it off with a shake of my head "Stop panicking for nothing JD" I say to myself.
But when Paula spoke - I knew somehow what she was saying was TRUE.
So now I'm scared.
There's a saying "to be forewarned is to be forearmed" - that if you know your enemy, you'll be better equipped to deal with them whenever they choose to attack. They won't catch you off guard if you've been quietly preparing to defend yourself the entire time.
So that's what I'm going to start doing.
I used to run to Emma whenever "Joyce" hurt me. Emma would always provide a listening ear and it comforted me to think I had a friend.
That will be ceasing immediately.
I'll of course talk to Tim, Emma and Jane - but I'll keep it all very polite, very IMPERSONAL and very 'on the surface'.
Just in case.
But how do I prepare for a battle when I don't know what or who OR WHY I'm going to fight it?
I don't know anymore why God put me in this role - in this battlefield...but I know He has a plan to bring goodness, joy and success from it all. I just have to trust in Him. I just have to continue to have integrity, to work hard and to be myself - my sweet-natured, child-like, wonderful self (Yeah I can't believe I've said that either - I don't usually compliment myself) - in spite of the craziness and lurking evil (?) I'm surrounded by.
Please keep me in your thoughts, you guys.
And if you have ANY advice on how to move forward with all of this...pleeeease tell me.
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